There's a Double Meaning In That

Summer is an Empty Black Sub-Space

2011-06-30T09:28:00.001-06:00

Ever wonder what a teacher does with 2.27 months off? Here's my description of the first few weeks of summer for a teacher:

Week 1 - Recovery. Also known as the post-school hangover. You sleep twelve to fifteen hours a day, watch TV, and read for fun, reveling in a life with no bells like a dog blissfully rolls in a pile of smelly garbage, tongue lolling about and eyes half rolled back into his head in pleasure.

Weeks 2 & 3 - Catching up. There are a million things to do around the house that you've let slide for months, like laundry, dishes, vacuuming, taking the garbage out, cooking dinner, etc. You call people who almost forgot you were friends. You get out of town and sunburned. You try to forget you're a teacher and pretend you're a real person.

Week 4 - Fuzzy confusion. You begin to emerge from the haze of heat and daze of delirious relaxation when disturbing flashbacks to your former life strike like an unforeseen attacker: maybe you impulsively check your school email, sub for a summer school class, or--mind-bendingly--stop by your dark, empty classroom to pick up something you forgot. Disoriented and bewildered, you step back as if you were an amnesiatic patient flustering for an explanation.

And the outside world starts to seep in: you have to do a mundane chore like grocery shopping; friends mention they can't party all night long because they have something called "work" in the morning; an automatic bill payment goes through on your bank account without a problem--you realize you have money to pay it, because some income has been credited to your checking.

How did that get there?? you think cloudily. I haven't been going to work! But it's so warm out, and you still have all afternoon, and what was it you got online for? Ooh look, a video of a cat barking like a dog! And everything is fuzzy, hazy, dazy summer.

Week 5 - Guilt. By this time the people around you are starting to notice that you don't do anything. And they're beginning to say things. So on the outside you try to justify yourself, like "Hey, I do stuff! I'm writing a song! And my memoirs!" or "I'll have you know I've completed an entire season of two separate TV shows. So there."

But inside, the guilt is sprouting--easily, from its fertile bed of compost that you've been heaping into it for the past month--a tiny green sapling of reprobate responsibility. You knowyou have something to do. You know there is something you should be thinking about, a very important project to which you need to be getting. After all, you're still getting paid. Shouldn't you be earning it?

Staving it off with self-arguments like "It's just back pay for the hours and weeks of extra time I put in during the school year. It's completely just!" helps---for now. But the rest and rejuvenation of relaxation has done its job well, and it's just not enough anymore.

You know who you are. You are a teacher. Your work is never finished.

Week 6 - There's still time. Now that you've realized you have an urgent obligation to uphold to your students, you are pleased to realize that summer is not quite over yet. After all, it's only July! It'll get done for sure. There are plans to be made; there are lessons to prepare; there are students to help. You take a deep breathe and roll up your sleeves.

That's the plan, anyway.

Currently I'm still hovering in the black sub-space between weeks 4 and 5.

What will happen?

I'll keep you posted.

Then There Was That Time Aaron Got His Appendix Out

2011-04-18T10:08:00.006-06:00

Let me explain.

No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

Sudden sharp pains in the right side at 5 AM led to an emergency room visit at 9 AM led to a CT scan and ultrasound at 11 AM led to an admission at 3 PM led to a surgery at 7 PM led to success at 9 PM led to a discharge at 11:30 AM the next morning. Wheeeee!

Proof that I was there too. Pardon Aaron's clothing, or lack thereof! ;)

Little Thomas going in for the kiss....

Touchdown! He actually used his "Thomas magic" to make Aaron all better.

We really felt so supported and blessed that everything went so well and so many people from both families helped so much.

He has now fully recovered and, thanks to laparoscopic surgical techniques, doesn't even have a scar (just three tiny holes in his abdomen). P.S. If you don't have health insurance, get some!

Spring Break: The Boring Recap Post

2011-03-26T15:25:00.008-06:00

Aaron's spring break at the U came like a month earlier than the one at my high school, so I decided to take a couple of personal days and join him. I couldn't be happier about it. It's so refreshing to get out and a change of scenery. Here's a quick recap with some of the boring, traditionally touristy pictures!

The Grand Canyon:

The Grand Canyon Hotel:

Cliff Dwellers on the way back to St. George:

Zion National Park (solely scenery):

Kolob Canyon:

The hikes were gorgeous, the views incredible. Most of the time my jaw hurt from staring openmouthed at the intimidating scenery. Tiny blog pictures do a severe injustice. I highly recommend a spring trip to national parks!

Spring Break: The Pictures that Present our Personality Post

2011-03-26T14:58:00.020-06:00

Pictures of me throwing my arms out in the "ROY!! INVINCIBLE!!!!!" pose:

Pictures of Aaron "interacting with the environment:"

Us desecrating and climbing all over stuff ancient Fremont Indians created:

Pictures that showcase us as x-treme, hard-core hikers:

This is looking down from the rim.

Next time, we're going by mule.

The view from Cedar Ridge

Climbing back up was the worst!

Weeping Rock at Zion National Park - bending with the wind

We thought we were cool for making it to Weeping rock, so we continued on the river path toward the Narrows. It was snowing.

The clay-mud behind the waterfall was simultaneously sticky and slippery.

And the only way to get it off our shoes was to walk in the newly fallen wet snow.

I caught the waterfall.

Can't get cooler than that.

See? More snow!

Proof we made it to the top waterfall!

As you can tell from the extreme weather conditions, the intensity of the hikes, and the general backcountry look... We are two very hard core hikers.

But we decided to prove it again the next day at Kolob Canyon. Actually, when we arrived, we weren't allowed up the canyon because of snow. But as we mulled around the visitor's center, the ranger suddenly got a phone call and down came the plow. We booked it and were the very first ones up the newly cleaned canyon so we could be the first ones....

...hiking in 6 inches of freshly fallen snow!

We were not prepared with boots or anything, so Aaron's feet got the most wet while I walked in his footsteps.

But we were rewarded gorgeously.

Proof we made it back down in one piece! We seriously are rock awesome hikers!

Married People Are No Fun

2011-02-19T21:12:00.004-07:00

So tonight I am writing my blog because I have thoughts on my mind. (Imagine!) A couple of friends have recently blogged about being single. I've really enjoyed reading the thoughts on their minds. So here I go!

Married people are no fun. --- My younger brother

Because I decided not to go to a movie with him tonight even though I wasn't really doing much because my husband went to hang out with his friends and I went to a ward potluck dinner where not many people attended but it was my responsibility to set up and plan it and clean up so when I came home and realized I had to wash the dishes and finish the laundry and iron our clothes for tomorrow and wet-swiffer the kitchen floor and scrub mold off the bathroom ceiling (hey, the rent's affordable), I knew I couldn't go out and play more when most of the day we spend doing "entertainment" activities (actually really awesome ones) like going to a falconry competition and seeing a musical at the Hale and definitely NOT spending our Saturday getting things ready for Sunday.

So yeah, married people are no fun.

"Marriage is the tomb of friendship. It appears to me a very selfish state. Why do people, in general, as soon as they are married, centre all their cares, their concerns, and pleasures in their own families? Former acquaintances are neglected or forgotten. The tenderest ties between friends are weakened, or dissolved; and benevolence itself moves in a very limited sphere." ---Hannah Foster, "The Coquette"

It's from a book I read in a Women Writers of the 19th Century class I took while pursuing my English degree at USU. Basically it's a moral tale where a girl is too too flirty and gets her tragic comeuppance while her best friend gets married the proper way and gains the desired reward. So after she says this her friend writes back:

"It is the glory of the marriage state to refine by circumscribing our enjoyments. Here we can repose in safety."

I cannot deny that I have felt the glory of the marriage state, refining my enjoyments, reposing in the safety and company of my husband. I have reveled in the realization that if I don't want to go out, I don't have to go out - I can sit at home in a sweatshirt, wrapped up in a blanket, watch a mediocre chick flick, and it's totally fine. Reposing in safety.

But neither can I deny that some of the tenderest ties I have had with my friends have become weakened. Former acquaintances are neglected and yes, even forgotten. Of course I will hang out with my little brother soon - that's not the point. Friends are different from family, in this case because I probably won't be running into them at the next Sunday dinner. In fact, I'll probably only be running into them when we reach out to each other and make a plan to do such.

Which suddenly has become a difficult feat whilst I'm reposing here in safety.

So, the obligatory obvious cavet: Marriage is happy and I love it and I love my husband and I would never go back and change things, because I'm super positive that this is the right and best thing, and I mean it! (If you know me at all you know I actually do feel this way, and that I'm just throwing it in for balance....)

Still, my gain has come with some loss, some grief, and some pain. The companionship and closeness of froomates - you know, friends+roommates; the energy and excitement from living in a cute little house with 6 women and 6 times the trauma/drama; and the tender ties of hearts knit together in Relief Society in singles wards, bonds forged from the shared trial of singledom, a sisterhood of which I feel no longer a part.

In all the awesomeness that has been my newlywed-ness, I haven't yet dealt with, though I have felt the pain, of the "leaving behind" of treasured parts of my life.

So I grieve for these losses.

Summer Recap: in PHOTOS!

2010-10-25T21:25:00.009-06:00

The snow today made me want to remember all the awesome summer things I did, not but a few short months ago.

Let me explain.

No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

First, there was this flock of geese that stayed in my neighbor's yard for two days.

Somewhere in July, Lisa went with us to see fireworks.

The Cabin Johnson's visited Utah, and just as I predicted, Aaron and Greg were Brothers from Another Mother. Here we caught them both wearing old-school arcade game T-shirts.

We pretended we were single and went with the single's ward to a Bee's game.

Oh, and we Moabed.

We played a free game of mini-golf at the Salt Lake Arts Center --- on a course of "art" miniature golf holes.

One Par 3 even gave you a free game of Donkey Kong when you made it in the hole. Aaron was excited to see the real thing instead of just the one on his T-shirt.

Right before school started we road-tripped to California for a wedding reception of one of Aaron's friends. We enjoyed the nicer part of town....

...as well as the lesser-known Hicksville side of Malibu.

On the way home, we found the Hoover Dam has been eclipsed by its gargantuan neighbor bridge.

The Ethel M Chocolate Factory outside Vegas was nice, but the cactus and rock garden outside was much more entertaining. Lisa and I pretended to be Saguaros....

....while Aaron tried to pretend to be another. Didn't work, buddy.

We visited The Strip, but the best part was a little splurge to see the Shark Aquarium at Mandalay Bay.

It was like ...walking through an aquarium!

The spiky Spinefish were my favorite.

Back in Utah, we had a very windy afternoon trip to Dugway with the Bills. It was too windy to even shoot off rockets.

But we did gather for some intense ping-pong back at the Bills homestead.

Austin had to be all gross and find a freaking huge bug. And of course none of us could resist looking at it.

Aaron's family goes to the Sheepdog Trials in Heber every year. We fittingly watched "Babe" on the portable DVD player during the drive up.

It was less like a rodeo than I expected - much more civilized.

Finally, the summer culminated in our triumphant ascent of Mount Timpanogos. Seriously, who built a house at the top!?

Coming back down... we couldn't believe we were just at the top of that.

END of super-long, probably-boring post. But guess what? END OF SUMMER, TOO. Thanks, snow!!!

A Blog About Food (Because Everyone Seems To Be Doing It)

2010-09-14T20:14:00.003-06:00

I don't know how I feel anymore. I used to be so in love. It used to be like, "it's a special occasion where we get all fancy and make ourselves pretty and spend a lot of time together but then we go our separate ways." But now it's more like, "here we are again, just like yesterday and the day before, you and me, nothing special but still too important to overlook, so whaddaya say?"

Of course I'm not talking about my husband. I love him dearly, in a much more real way than I ever did while we were just dating. (Cheese warning!! Comin' right atcha! Oh, sorry, too late.) No, I'm talking about DINNER.

You can ask my mom - I cooked before. I did. Or, ask my roommates. We had this each-person-cooks-once-a-week thing going for a good while, and it worked out great. See, when you have a week to plan, and it feels special, you can cook pretty much anything.

But now that we need dinner every day? It's terrifically difficult. It's terrificult!

(Dang...that sounds a little wrong. Like a terrible cult or something.)

I really don't mind preparing food - I've been watching a lot of this overproduced competition cooking show "Master Chef" on Hulu.com lately, so the actual preparation isn't dreadful. It's sort of fun, especially pretending I'm an expert and know what I'm doing.

But the hardest part is deciding. Blankly staring at the stove like it's a piece of paper and I have writer's block. Opening the fridge and everything delicious I remember buying suddenly scurries behind a nearly-empty milk carton or bottle of pickles like a cockroach hides from the light. Canvassing the countertops for anything but that moldy tomato or wilted piece of lettuce. Searching the shelves when all I can see is ramen, peanut butter, and Instant Quaker Oatmeal. I want T-shirts that say "WHAT SHOULD WE EAT".

I know, I know - I need to plan my meals ahead of time. Once I get a good repertoire of recipes I'll be better at performing on-demand. Practice practice practice!

Still, ideas can't hurt. Allow me to pick your collective brains: What did you have for dinner tonight? What do you wish you had for dinner tonight?

Persuasive Essays

2010-07-28T11:42:00.003-06:00

"The one thing you can never be wrong about is your own opinion. It's when you start giving your reasons that you lay yourself open." -- Roger Ebert

From a very good blog by Ebert about the film "Inception." Specifically, he addresses how various people are shaming those minority negative reviewers of the film. "How dare you dislike a movie I loved!", etc. Check it out here: http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/07/the_myth_of_a_perfect_film.html.

I agree that you can't be "wrong" about your own opinion. That's the "your" part. The opinion part, however, is where "you lay yourself open" as he says.

But you can't very well share your opinion without explanation. Giving only your opinion without reasons is hardly accepted by those with whom you're having a conversation---especially if they're of the opposite opinion.

As I taught my summer school students when comparing FACT vs OPINION, a fact can be proven true, while an opinion cannot. Similarly, a fact cannot be argued, while an opinion can. Would we say that an opinion exists to be argued against? Might we say that an opinion doesn't exist unless there is some way you could argue against it?

* * *

I've had a blast teaching summer school these past few weeks. By focusing on writing a single persuasive essay, instead of trying to read and analyze a novel or memorize out-of-context vocab words, I've seen them reach some real depth of thinking instead of skimming on top of the learning surface. It was inspired for me to let them pick their own topics for their persuasive essays instead of assigning "Should your school get rid of the pop machines" or "What do you think about school uniforms" or, my favorite, "Recycling." Most importantly, those topics would bore ME, which boredom is painfully obvious if you try and teach through.

It's important for me to pick interesting things to teach so THEY will have interesting things to learn. I basically gave them half a day on the iTouch to muse around news sites online and find a topic that really interests them. They range from the existence of aliens to texting while driving to the legalization of marijuana to the fairness of Arizona's now-infamous new law.

I'm happy I didn't shy away from topical, relevant issue of immigration. I'd debated whether to bring it up in class but I knew they were all thinking about it - this was the same week "The List" came out (leaked list of 1,300 names, addresses, and SSNs of allegedly illegal immigrants in Utah). It was filled with mostly Hispanic names, and I have mostly Hispanic students. And they were worried. (I never asked if they were worried for themselves or for family members - I don't feel like it's my place to know, or even if it's legal for me to know, whether they are here within or outside the law. If they're in my classroom, I'm going to teach them.)

So I was pleased to see that they weren't scared of such a big topic, either. One student is writing on the treatment of immigrants in general; another is arguing that Utah should not adopt an Arizona-like law; and another narrowed the topic down to: Those 2 workers who leaked that "list" information should be criminally charged for violation of privacy laws.

It's still a question in my mind how much I let them know my opinion, and how much I stay neutral to let them form their own. Usually I'd bring up a topic---like "Should euthanasia on animals in shelters be performed by lethal injection or with poisonous gas?"---and discuss both sides, the facts and reasonings for both sides, and how each side might try to prove the other side false. Ultimately, the discussion will come to, "Well, what do YOU think, Ms Sheffield?' (The summer school people didn't get my new name in time.) I'll be honest - I usually hedge away from that question. I change the subject, or just say "That's not the question. The question is what do YOU think, and how can you back it up?" or "We don't have to pick a side. We're looking at the pros and cons of both." Am I pansying out? Or should I continue to stay behind a professional veil and not reveal my personal opinions?

And now we're back at the beginning. Because usually when I have an opinion, it's rooted deep in my religious foundation. So if they get my opinion, and they inevitably ask for reasons why.... well, I probably don't need to ask if I should share those or not. . . . Do I?

One last thought on the Ebert quote: You definitely need to have some kind of reasoning for your opinion. And to have considered both sides. One of my students wanted to write about the new Jazz lineup - specifically, how wrong it was for them to sign Raja Bell again. "He's a terrible player, we don't need him, they should've picked someone better" were some of his reasons. So I had him look up evidence, player stats and expert analysis, that sort of thing (that I could give more opinion on had I any lingering interest in pro basketball). The next day he raised his hand and informed me he was switching his topic. Now he's writing on why he supports the Jazz in re-signing Raja Bell. And he has the facts to prove it. I hope.

The More Things Change

2010-06-25T08:36:00.003-06:00

A few things are different since the last time I blogged. First of all, this one kid came to my house to watch a movie and fell asleep on my floor.

Reader, I married him.

(I have used

the famous line

that I got from Jane Eyre

and that you

were probably saving

for breakfast.

Forgive me - it was delicious

So sweet

though so old)

Second, I moved to our new apartment, and I have a new last name.

Side note: So I'm not sure what to do about this blog. Options are as follows:
Ditch it and make a new one, probably with both our names in the address, and talk about our new life. Downside - I doubt Husband will be writing on it much.
Keep it and make it a Work-Only blog. If I take out all personal references I could use it for my classes, to check homework, etc. As you can see, I haven't been updating it regularly for personal reasons anyway.
Keep it and repent of my non-writing ways. I may be married but I still have thoughts to share!

Speaking of thoughts to share....

Getting a new last name is a hassle and a half. I'll get there in a second. Because now that I think of it, pretty much everything about getting married is a hassle and a half. The easiest part is being in love. (Just being. Because falling in love is a hassle, too. As we all know.)

I've been married for two weeks. Half the time has been in Hawaii, half here. I will not attempt to euphemize: Hawaii was way better. It came at the perfect time---stress had been building up as the school year came to a close, I had one week after school ended to plan my reception (AND wedding AND luncheon AND vacation AND new house AND....), I was packing for a trip and putting together new house, and as I was getting an ulcer from the anxiety of it all, all I wanted to do was be with Boy Who Fell Asleep On My Floor, all the time.

So the weekend smacked into us, and we collapsed into the arms of Hawaii.

These pictures are already on the Book of the Face, of course. I know my posting priorities! But the whole beach-sunset proves my point - It was a haven of escape. We woke up each morning thousands of miles from home, literally an ocean away from our troubles. No stress, no problems, no worries. For a whole week. It was bliss.

Now, back at the ranch, we have to deal with Life again. A couple of examples:

Boy-who-fell-asleep, now Husband-who-goes-to-work-everyday, ditched his old bank to sign onto mine, but they won't give him a debit card until both our names match.
I've been to the Social Security office to get a card with my new name, but it's going to take 1-2 weeks for it to arrive.
Then I'll still have to go to the DMV, of which I'll admit I'm quite frightened, and get a new license.
Not to mention my church records!
After that I need to talk to my school district so they'll change their paperwork - my paycheck, work email address, etc.
Which brings me back to this blog. Yesterday I set up a new Gmail address with my new last name. But with any kind of moving, I have to wonder what to keep and what to throw out. Old archived emails, mailing lists, contacts??

My intention is not to burden you with my burdens, nor am I attempting to solicit pity or offers of help. I simply want to re-enter the Blogosphere without apologies but with lots of details about my life.

Because that's what I enjoy about reading YOUR blog. : )

Books!

2009-09-20T20:16:00.003-06:00

I've been reading a lot lately. I think it's got something to do with the "15 minutes of silent reading" time at the beginning of each of my classes. (I like to model good reading behavior so they know what it looks like, so I'm usually sitting at the front of the room with a book in my hand. Rather than puttering around at my desk.) And since I've had the time to get started on a book, I come home and would much rather be reading instead of working.

So I've gotten through a few. And now I have to talk about them.

River Secrets, by Shannon Hale

I'm a huge Shannon Hale fan. She has a way of writing stories, novels that are more folktales than books. They usually have some kind of magical element, but the characters are real and memorable enough that you close the book with a smile and satisfied sigh. And they're funny. This is the 3rd in a series of 4 (the others, I believe, are The Goose Girl, Enna Burning, and a new one coming out soon...).

Hole In My Life, by Jack Gantos

This is a real-life memoir about a few years of Jack Gantos' teenage and early-20s life, when he was involved in doing drugs, selling drugs, giving up drugs, and serving prison time. But how could someone who has messed up his life so much go on to write and publish a book? He made some terrible choices, yes, but he wasn't dumb. In fact, while in prison he wasn't allowed a notebook to write in, so he used a jail-copy of "The Brothers Karamazov" and wrote in the margins and in-between the lines. His manuscript was his ticket out of there. It was a tough subject and not really the escapist reading I'm used to, but I couldn't put this down, even though I was reading it on my cruise!

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

I'm sure you've heard a lot about this one, but I sure liked it. Now that I look back on it, I realize that you have to be able to appreciate Jane Austen before you can read this. It's 85% Austen and 15% zombies. So, as awesome as the zombie/ninja fighting parts are, if you're not in the patient mood required by the majority of the language, this book isn't for you. Wait for the movie. ;)

The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

Wow, even thinking about this book still gives me goosebumps. I tend to read in the oddest places considering the subject matter: prison and drug dealing in the Bahamas, and post-apocolyptic, ashen-gray American wasteland on a family trip to Moab and Arches National Park. But, you know, Jack Gantos did take a boatload of drugs from Florida to the Northeast, and I connected with his sea-legs and yearning for land as I read on the cruise liner. And just as we drove through miles of southern Utah, "the man" and "the boy" in this novel traveled onward down any road they could find in search of food and safety and survival. Arches is gorgeous beyond any poetic description I could imagine; McCarthy uses the most gorgeous language to describe the least attractive world imaginable. In short, it was a beautiful book about horrible things. If you can handle that, read it!

Impossible, by Nancy Werthin

This is a YA lit novel that I would recommend to a much wider audience as well. It's a modern-day story of a girl named Lucy, a senior in high school, just turning 18...but it's based on the idea behind the Simon and Garfunkle song "Scarborough Fair." I kinda didn't want to say that because I think it gives a bit of a wrong idea... Basically, I loved the book more for the "true love of mine" aspect than the fantasy element. Their relationship was very...worthy. Not even a Mormon novel, but a great emphasis on family and commitment.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows

My friend Jenny recommended this to me - actually, she loaned me her copy - which is the only reason I read it, because I certainly would not have picked it up judging by the title. What the...!? I mean, what *is* Potato Peel Pie? It's only a fringe idea, but I think they wanted to make the title memorable. Ok, it worked: I haven't forgotten. And I am so glad I read it. It's set in 1946, in a small British island in the English Channel working to heal itself from being occupied by Nazi Germany. But it's told all in letters, people writing back and forth to the main character Juliet living in London. I'm not kidding - I felt like I got to know these characters so well that in the week or so it's been since I finished the book, I've missed them! I want to know how they are now. I wish I could stop by for tea and just chat. It was lovely and poignant (nice buzzword) and darling and thoroughly enjoyable.

Now I'm reading "Bleachers" by John Grisham, and it's...fine. But mostly I'm desperately searching for my next favorite. What have you read lately? Any recommendations?

"Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card." ---Arthur

A Picture Is Worth A Long, Convoluted Story That I Don't Really Feel Like Telling

2009-07-01T12:20:00.006-06:00

So I went on this cruise.

Ok, I knew Emily was there, "butt" I had no idea about this photo. Sneaky, Lisa.

One day we went snorkeling.

I look like this ALL the time.

I took this picture, and almost took the fish too, but they said not to disturb the creatures, something about an "ecosystem" or whatever, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

Another day, at the fancy onboard restaurant, I ate escargots. For those of you who don't "hablo espanol," escargots is Spanish for THE NINO. I mean, snails.

Aye aye, Captain Me. Worry not: I steered us in the right direction.

Another time, we went to the beach. White sand, clear warm water... delish. The cruise line actually owns this private island in the Bahamas, called Cococay. Ok, so maybe it was artificial, but so is Tang and we still love that!

This is me and a coconut tree. Rhyme!!

Here's me and Lisa. Then there was this time I bought us all virgin strawberry daiquiris, and the waitress couldn't stop being amazed that we didn't drink alcohol. And then we won 2nd place in the "Name that Tune" contest, and everyone couldn't stop being amazed.

In a word, the sunsets on the boat were truly spectacularly colorful Caribbean sunsets. Oops, that was four words.

When I got home I had sea legs for about three days...but I'm still glad I went! Snark aside, it was truly unforgettable.

Elaeagnus angustifolia

2009-06-11T10:01:00.003-06:00

For the past month, as I drive around with my windows rolled down inhaling the warmer air, I've been searching for the source of my favorite summer scent. I knew it was some kind of blossom or flower that bloomed in late May/early June because it's the smell of school ending, the smell of relief and burdens lifted, the smell...of freedom. (Bear with me here.)

Finally, on my way home from a late WalMart run the last week of school, I turned a corner and a gust of well-timed wind breezed the delicious odor right into my face. So I pulled over, walked back, and thought of Gandalf: "When in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose." And there it was!

Of course I had no idea what it was called, but I've since learned that its common name is Russian Olive (an ornamental tree famous for hardy roots that can grow in dry soil). I also learned that it's now classified as an invasive weed.

Gee, thanks.

It's not just the shiny green-grey leaves and tiny aromatic flowers that make me love this tree, though. It's the history. Let me explain: You've seen The Mask of Zorro, right? Catherine Zeta-Jones' character Elena comes back to California after being raised in Spain (with no knowledge that she was born on this continent) and is given a flower by a native woman. When she smells it, she recognizes the scent. Later she finds out they used to hang it over her crib.

So I mentioned to my mom how much I loved the smell of this tree (not calling it a weed) and she explained, "Remember the field? There used to be a whole line of Russian Olives next door."

Of course! Growing up there used to be an large empty tract of land between my house and the church on the corner. We used to play for hours in the overgrown grasses and untamed shrubbery. It only makes sense that the aroma of the trees was implanted into my memory, indelibly connected with the ideas of freedom, summer, and play.

*Sigh* I'm so cool, I don't even know I'm cool.

Seriously, I'm not even looking forward to the already-fading blossoms to be replaced by some yellow, olive-looking fruit. One man's weed is another man's pleasant childhood memory.

I Can Has Chevy Malibu?

2009-05-16T18:35:00.003-06:00

So.....I bought a car this week. Trust me, it was a really good deal, and I got a loan with a solid interest rate, and it's basically legendary.

I had to take a picture with me driving. Pretend the car is moving.

It's already been broken in: my good froommate Lisa and I drove up the canyon to enjoy a nighttime view of the valley listening to Kerli's "The Creationist" which is a great bass tester song, if you ever wondered.

But...you car is never really broken in until a 2 year old drives it. Cue Mckay! Thanks, next-door neighbor kids.

Getting the keys ready...

Putting it in gear...
Adjusting the radio....
Turning on the A/C...
And we're off!

Pay no attention to the crazed smile on my face. I assure you, it was a very safe ride.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

2009-04-22T21:15:00.002-06:00

So really quickly, I just wanted to share a story...

Last week one day was "Day of Silence" where students who are members of the GLBTQ club at school went all day without speaking, wearing pins that explained they were representing the unrepresented.

After first period I picked up a sheet of paper from the floor. One girl had stuck a pin to it and wrote to the boy sitting behind her, "Do me a favor and wear this today to give voice to people who don't normally get a chance. Pleaz!"

Underneath, in scrawly handwriting, he wrote back, "I only support hot lesbians."

I laughed so hard I couldn't even throw the note away.

Spring break? Spring fix!

2009-04-14T20:36:00.007-06:00

Shout out to you non-graduated folks! This is the weirdest April for me. Usually this is the craziest, busiest, stressfullest time of year. You're finishing the semester, cramming for finals, writing papers, finishing projects. You're also stricken with cabin fever, spring fever, and senioritis. And usually a cold or two brought on by sheer exhaustion. Plus you have to worry about moving home, summer plans, packing, getting a job...and leaving all your school friends.

Not this year. This is the first April I've had in a good seven years where it's not like that. School's been normal - I still have work to do, but just your usual amount. But there's still this whole May thing to deal with before I even think about getting out of school (June 5th, in case you're wondering). I even had a spring break last week! It's been strangely and seriously chill. (And I wasn't meaning to talk about the weather, but that's been chill, too.)

"Oh, you had spring break?" you ask. "How was it?" Great! I went to Las Vegas with my former roommate Lisa and stayed with her family. Enough? Ok, I'll put up a picture or two:

We went model home browsing...it was delicious. This was the cleverest little niche directly to the left after the entryway of one home. I love the stairs setting it apart from the rest of the room! But the best was the three-part hot tub in the backyard of one home, complete with heated waterfall over decorative rocks. Do people really live like this?!?

While in beautiful Las Vegas be sure to visit historic Las Vegas Boulevard (The Strip). I could watch those Bellagio fountains all...night.

Some gorgeous flowers from the grounds at the Las Vegas LDS temple. We didn't make it there until Monday, which is when it's closed, but I did get to appreciate the landscaping.

Please appreciate my obvious photography skills by comparing the slope of the roof of the temple to the parallel line of cloud made by a passing jet. Thank you.

And then, I drove all the way home. We left at 11 AM and I got home at 7:30 last night. Mmmm...good spring break. How was yours?

Cheers,
Beckie

They call it "Teacher Work Day" because all the other days we're just playing around

2009-03-27T23:13:00.003-06:00

It's been so long since I've blogged I don't know where to start! Result: A buncha randoms.

* So I finally get a day off school and what do they do? Make me come in anyway to read papers and put in grades. The nerve.

But in the end I really enjoyed reading all 150 student essays on different themes in The Old Man and the Sea. Time flew by. One student put in two of the required three direct quotations from the book, and for his third he said this: "As is sung in Dr. Horribles sing-along-blog by Captain Hammer, " It may not feel to classy begging just to eat, but you know who does that? Lassie, and she always gets a treat. So he wonders what his part is cause hes fish-less and depressed. But home is where the heart is so his real homes in his chest. Everyones a hero in their own way." Then he went on to discuss why Santiago was a hero in his own way. Not bad, a shameless plugs go. Though I would've preferred money taped to the back of the paper...!

* The next week when the kids saw their grades, I got to hear a lot of sob stories. I mean, so many student simply decided not to do their paper! How could they not realize that essay was worth 30% of their grade?? I was forced to enter in many more F's than I had ever imagined. At first I felt horrible about it, until I realized that it was their choice. They had the knowledge, but refused to put it into practice. Lame.

* One student, unfortunately, had a legitimate excuse for not finishing his paper: his mom, who had been on life support all week, passed away the day grades were due. But what really surprised me was that he showed up for my class first period the next day! I guess sometimes we deal with grief and change by going on as usual, searching for sameness and routine.

* Another student, however, simply wasted his time in the computer lab and turned in nothing, so his grade was also nothing. Saturday, the day after I'd posted his failing grade, he emailed me to following sentence: "its (name) i wana know if i could do the old man and the sea essay cus i dont want a F" I had three really good reasons for him: A) It's Saturday, I shouldn't even have to be checking my email; B) You had your chance, you blew it; and C) Your poor grammar and spelling in your request doesn't exactly endear me to raising your grade. Still, kudos for being the ONLY one to email me about the essay. Even though I didn't let him, it was stil nice to know that he cared... slightly.

* Yesterday I didn't have to go to school because I went to a seminar at the Salt Palace called "The Best Books of the Past Decade for Teens and How to Use Them in Your Program." The presenter was an awesome teacher/librarian from an all-girls junior high in Silicon Valley, California who went through an extensive list of new book options for students. My favorite could be a textbook called "From Hinton to Hamlet: Building Bridges between Young Adult Literature and the Classics" which I believe has been my life's focus ever since I picked up Harry Potter; I've constantly felt this need to defend newer books to those obsessed with the "literary canon" or any who might dismiss contemporary fiction for lack of "literary merit." Fie to them! Just because it's new doesn't mean it can't or shouldn't be taught in schools. In fact, here's one thing the presenter pointed out:

"With the exception of complicated plotting, all the traditional literary elements typical of classic literature are present in most contemporary novels for young adults--flashbacks, allusions, irony, metaphorical language--though they are used less frequently and at times less sophistocated levels."

So the moment I got home I headed straight for the library, checking out 6 or 7 of the books he'd presented on. One of them I finished entirely last night. I'll get a list of these new books soon. I'm pretty excited about it!

* Today (and yesterday, with the sub) my classes listened to music to identify uses of Metaphor and Simile in the lyrics. How awesome am I!!? I wish I had me as a teacher! Here's a list of the songs we used:

Simon and Garfunkel: I Am A Rock
Rascal Flatts: Life is a Highway
Natasha Bedingfield: Unwritten
John Michael Montgomery: Life's a Dance (thanks, Emma!)
Disney: Candle on the Water
Guster: Satellite
The Killers: Human
Donny Osmond: I'll Make a Man out of You
Smashing Pumpkins: Bullet With Butterfly Wings
Incubus: Drive

I have to say, I was really impressed with how they picked out not only the obvious ones, but further metaphors I hadn't even thought of from the songs. That's kind of why I put that Killers song on there, because I have no idea if there even is a metaphor in it, so I wanted to see their thoughts. Oh, and that Mulan song was chock full of 'em! It really was a way fun lesson.

* "Gang Awareness" week at our school culminated today in an assembly (during 2nd period, optional at teachers' discretion) where students played some games answering questions about gang-related facts and statistics, and two former gang members spoke. One was from California, of Mexican descent, and now is just finishing his master's degree at the U; the other was "Poly" and from Seattle, apparently a place rife with gang activity. The first rambled a bit and lost the students' interest, but the second... it was amazing to see how the entire assembly was in the palm of his hand. His story was intense - once while heavily involved in his gang, his girlfriend broke up with him and he almost killed her, which snapped him back and made him realize he needed to change. When he finished, the applause was real. I'm glad we had it - it was really needed at my school.

* Oh, and the school newspaper came out yesterday, full of April Fool's jokes like "our school is getting uniforms!" and "it's now required for everyone to use the communal showers before class" and "school news writers jailed after newspaper prank goes horribly wrong." Clever stuff.

The Old Man and Planet Earth

2009-02-22T10:50:00.002-07:00

If I haven't blogged about school, it only means I've been focusing that much more on school! There's always so much to do and I always find myself planning what might come next.

This past week we started a new unit on Ernest Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea. I'm still trying to adjust my lesson plans for the fact that there's only one classroom set of books. This means I can't possibly assign 50 pages to be read as homework and then spend class time discussing and analyzing a novel. No, most of each 90 minute block period is spent actually reading the book out loud. In a way I quite enjoy it, because that way I can stop every few paragraphs and explain what's going on for ELLs and other students who might not catch every word. It just takes a whole lot longer to get through even a short novel like Old Man.

Of course, I like to explore every angle I can when talking about literature, so it's mostly my fault that it takes so long to get through. For example, to talk about the setting of the book I not only showed them some PowerPoint slides on Cuba and talked about Fidel Castro and the US economic embargo, but I also left the last twenty minutes of class free so we could watch part of that most excellent BBC miniseries Planet Earth.

If you really knew me you would know I love watching that beautiful compilation of nature and animal footage. The excuse was that my students would get a better feel for what kind of fish the old man Santiago would be dealing with - all the life under the sea that he probably didn't realize existed. And some that he definitely knew about:

It's one of my favorite parts, when they capture the great white shark leaping out of the water and snarfing down a seal in ultra-slow-motion. I swear this big guy KNEW he was being filmed and deliberately posed for the camera over 10 feet out of the water with a freshly dead seal in his mouth. Delicious. (The shot, not the seal.)

There are still more scenes from other episodes I'd like my kids to watch, especially one part where it shows the giant sailfish that look just like the old man's marlin, and schools of tuna and dolphins that shared the Cuban ocean with him.

In the meantime, though, we've got to get into the text itself. I might have days where they will read silently, but it's looking like I will be reading most of the book out loud. It's really not that bad - after three weeks I think my voice is finally getting used to saying the same thing six times in two days. Really, my 1A class is nowhere near as good as my 3B, because by then I've done it enough times to be quite prepared.

Right now I'm looking for a way to have them make some kind of posters or decorations to put on the walls of the classroom. It's still looking quite bare - dark and gloomy from the oppressive green of the chalkboards, lacking the clean white look of dry-erase boards in the other rooms. I've requested white boards two separate times but nothing's been done. And now with all this talk of getting a new school built, I doubt they'll spend the time or money to fix up rooms that are going to be demolished eventually anyway.

Ah, well. For now, I'll do the best with what I've got. And try to blog a little more about it! :)

Faithfully

2009-01-20T12:35:00.002-07:00

Are you prepared to take the oath?

Yes.

I, Beckie Sheffield, do--

I, Beckie Sh--

--Do solemnly swear.

I, Beckie Sheffield, do solemnly swear.

That I will execute the office of English Teacher to the 10th graders at Granger High School faithfully.

That I will execute...?

---Faithfully the office of English Teacher...

The office of English Teacher to the 10th graders at Granger High School faithfully.

Faithfully?

Faithfully, sir.

Faithfully execute the office, or execute the office faithfully?

Both, sir. So, help me!

I hope you all saw or heard Obama's Oath of Office this morning, as well as his address to the nation. Otherwise you won't understand what the heck I've been talking about.

It is so---what's the word? fitting? ironic? pleasantly, slightly symbolic?---that our new president was sworn in for his new job the same day I signed the contract for mine.

Yep, starting Monday, the 26th, I will be responsible for teaching 6 classes of Sophomore English at Granger High School. The former teacher was also the school's football coach who took another job coaching at Taylorsville High. Instead of hiring me to teach AND coach, though, which surely would have proved disastrous, the school has hired another coach and I'm taking over the missing English classes.

It's a hard thing, to take over in the middle of a year, but I had a pleasant realization as drove from the school to the district offices this morning. I heard Vice President Biden sworn in, and then enjoyed a pristinely beautiful new musical arrangement of the Quaker hymn "Simple Gifts" by John Williams. (I told you I loved that man! He's simply brilliant, proving it yet again!) How would it have been to be one of those performers? Up there with Itzak Pearlman and Yo Yo Ma. Here's what the clarinetist had to say about it. And they performed flawlessly.

Then Obama came on.

The first time I'd heard his name was two days after I got home from Chile in July 2007. It seemed everyone was talking about him on the news, and I remember looking one of my siblings (Anna? Or Thomas?) and asking, "Obama??" And the response was, "Yeah. They've already made every joke about it." Little did we know!

And then today John Roberts and the oath of office. Does it really matter where the word "faithfully" goes? Should the modifier go before or after the subject and verb? Aren't you excited to have many lessons on adverbial order and misplaced modifiers after this event?!?

Then we'll move on to studying Obama's speec h itself. What kind of persuasive elements did he include? How did his use of parallel sentence structure make the message more powerful or memorable?? To what effect were his uses of pathos and ethos in his rhetoric???

From a new English teacher's perspective, I love our new president already. And I'm glad he got his job the same day I did.

I hope he will do his job faithfully, as I, faithfully, do mine.

And if his last name is Williams, I will marry him.

2009-01-12T11:35:00.004-07:00

I've discovered anew my love affair with Williams... Both John and Ralph Vaughan. Let me refresh your memories:

Ralph Vaughan Williams: Early 20th century English composer of symphonies, choral music, and arranger of traditional folk songs. You may remember him from such LDS hymns as "I Saw a Mighty Angel Fly" (#15) or "For All The Saints" (#82). More famous ones include "All Creatures of Our God and King" (#62) and "If You Could Hie To Kolob" (#284).

Let's tangent onto that last one. Vaughan Williams wrote a piece for string orchestra and harp called "Five Variants of Dives and Lazarus." It's like 13 minutes long but extremely poetic, lush and gorgeous. I had the privilege of playing it at the Solo and Ensemble Festival in Olympus High's orchestra my senior year.

So what are Dives and Lazarus? It's from a lesser-known parable in Luke about an extremely poor man named Lazarus and an unnamed rich man ("dives" is apparently Latin for "rich man") who make opposite choices in life and end up in opposite places for the afterlife. The beggar Lazarus barely even eats the crumbs from the rich man's table (shades of a U2 song there?), but nothing is shared. When they both die Lazarus is carried up "into Abraham's bosom" (which I assume means paradise) and Dives to...a very warm place. A fascinating story, ~~if doctrinally incomplete.~~ Look it up.

All I wanted to say was the song is beautiful and even if you don't like the "Kolob" rendition you should love Vaughan Williams for it. (There's also a Christmas version here.) And I haven't even mentioned "The Lark Ascending," which is 17 minutes long and yet you never want the violin solo to end. And "Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis" is a string masterpiece. It's featured in the movie Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, and I remember the Oscar orchestra playing it every time that film was nominated for something that year. Apparently the theme from the song is also a hymn that I would love to hear sung in church someday. (Let's ask Robert Cundick if he'll arrange it for us!)

So Ralph Vaughan Williams, I love you. And apparently you have a great last name, because I also love John Willams. (And if you really knew me you would know that already.) Remember how in the summer of 2003 I made a 5 CD John Williams tribute? I sorted tracks from his film scores into categories of Themes, People, Quests, Spirit, and Flight. For example, in the last one I noticed how many songs he writes about people flying:

"Flight to Neverland" from Hook
"Flying Theme" from E.T.
"Main Title" from Superman
"Cadillac of the Skies" from Empire of the Sun
"Fawkes the Phoenix" from Harry Potter 2
"Suite" from Close Encounters of the Third Kind
"Journey to the Island" from Jurassic Park

And since I made those CDs he's written a dozen more film scores. It's not only that his music is technically brilliant, it's the pervasiveness of his fame that astounds me. People worldwide can recognize the themes to Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, and Jurassic Park. Every two years we hear his Olympic Themes without realizing that he did them. Within two measures you can feel the imperial power of Darth Vader; within two notes you can feel imminent death of a shark attack from Jaws. The man cannot be overpraised.

Side note: In my Wikipedia searchings, I discovered that John Williams's son Joseph Williams is also famous: for a while he was lead vocalist for the band Toto, author of one of my favorite guilty pleasure 80s anthems "Africa" (here is a link to their hilariously hideous music video); and he was also the singing voice of adult Simba in The Lion King, heard in "Hakuna Matata" and "Can You Feel The Love Tonight." Ha!

Well, now you know more about these two Williams, more than you thought you'd ever know, and you can never un-know what you've just known. Aren't you glad. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go listen to "The Asteriod Field" track on The Empire Strikes Back soundtrack - one of the greatest action cues of all time. Mmmm mmm mmm!

Movie Comparison/Dissection #1: Love?

2008-11-28T17:25:00.006-07:00

At the start of this Thanksgiving break I saw two movies - one that I'd heard a lot of and mostly enjoyed, and one that I hadn't heard too much of and really loved. They both were primarily romantic, and both had some great kisses. They're both kind of fairy tales, and they both end happily. And both movies have some flawed perspectives on love. Let me explain.

The first, you might have guessed, was Twilight, the ultimate teen fangirl dream film. I made sure to know what I was getting myself into when I saw this one. Yes, I've read all the books, and yes I enjoyed the read. (Cotton-candy romantic entertainment. I enjoyed Meyer's other book The Host even more.) And I read all the reviews I could find before seeing the film, so I really felt prepared for what I found: Cheese. Baseball-playing vampire cheese. And guess what? I was totally fine with it. Like I said, I mostly enjoyed it. There's a lot of nitpicky stuff I could go into, but I'd rather not. It was not a bad way to spend two hours and eight fifty.

The next night I went to Blockbuster with my cousins and saw the film Penelope, which my cousin Brad insisted on pronouncing in a way that rhymes with "antelope." He didn't really feel like watching it, actually, especially judging by the flowery, almost sappy looking DVD cover. Well, we did watch it, and it shattered my expectations. Yes, it was a fairy-tale-like romance where a girl is cursed with a pig-like face and only when someone "of her own kind" (that is, blue-blooded rich) loves her will she be turned beautiful. BUT! It doesn't go about it in the way you would expect. In fact, the movie did things in such unexpected ways I couldn't even turn away. In many movies you count the "wow!" moments; in this one even Brad was always saying "What?!?" instead. It was very surprising, quirky and different...but in a delightfully satisifying way. And while the ending might have been an obvious one, I really enjoyed how it got there.

But I didn't just want to review these movies, I wanted to look through a feminist perspective at the relationships they portray. Don't get mad - I'm not saying all guys are like this. I'm just saying this is one way it can be interpreted. Get ready for it.

Penelope

In Penelope her suitors come talk to her through a one-way mirror, until she comes right out and shows them her face. They either run away screaming or crash themselves out through the window to get away from her hideousness. Finally, though, there's one who happens to not see when she comes out, and when the rest have run away, he stays and talks to her through the glass. He comes back day after day and they get to know each other, have a chess game, even play music together while in separate rooms.

And I thought, isn't that just the way this guy would love to have it? It's like a self-absorbed-man's dream relationship: he only has to talk to himself! Sure, they have a conversation, but he's not really with her, is he? He's in a room with another version of himself. It's a very selfish way to look at a relationship, but sometimes that's all that's wanted: another You. Who did he really fall in love with? In that room he may be talking to her, but it's really all about HIM.

Twilight

Once I started thinking about it. I realized Twilight had a similar theme. And I admit, I didn't notice it myself: I read in other reviews that Edward never tells Bella she's beautiful. She, however, tells him he's perfect. Setting aside the book version, since it does allow for the relationship to be a bit more complicated, in the movie at least it seems that Edward and Bella aren't in love with each other. They're just in love with how much he's in love with her.

In the book it felt (slightly) less creepy, but the movie made it glaringly obvious that Edward is more obsessed with how much he desires her than with her, herself. Girls find it attractive to be wanted so badly: after all, everyone wants to be loved. But that's really the only thing holding them together. Again, it's not about her. He's not focused on Bella as much as he is focused on how much he loves her. So really, he's only focused on himself. Hey, even Bella herself is so focused on him she doesn't even take care of herself. So how is this good for her??

So, after seeing these two movies back to back, it really seemed like they would come out on the worse end when examined from a feminist perspective. It's not even about the girl. Most of the focus is on the guy - on his love, fascination, and obsession. It's strange, too, since Twilight was written, and both movies were directed, by women.

Other thought to ponder: what Marian the librarian sings in "The Music Man" that my stake performed this month. She wants a man "who is more interested in me than he is in himself, and more interested in 'us' than he is in me." Hmmm...

Also, I watched (an incredible Masterpiece Theater version of the classic novel) Jane Eyre tonight, and that's one that really gets you thinking. There are, of course, encyclopedias written about Mr Rochester and Jane, but I specifically noticed where he deliberately doesn't tell her that he's decided to marry her, and talks about the marriage preparations and plans directly to her, letting her think that he's going to be marrying someone else! So manipulative. Fun for him, I suppose, but HOW is that good for Jane, at all?

OK, now for the end disclaimer: No, I am not really as bitter as all this makes me seem. I was merely intrigued by the juxtaposition of these movies and wished to share my comments, as I hope you will. I really did enjoy the movies! And I really, really do enjoy dissecting them afterward!

Just something I was thinking about after church today.

2008-11-23T12:35:00.003-07:00

One teaching of the Church I belong to is that of "opposition in all things." It basically means that if we never had bad things happen to us, we would never learn to appreciate the good.

Today I was thinking about that and flipped it around in my mind: Maybe, if we never had good things happen to us, we would never realize that our lives were so bad!

Then I thought, maybe that's what it's like, this life on earth. We survive by focusing on the relatively good things, yes, but in reality... life sucks. It's hard, and bad things happen all the time. I mean, compared to the next life? Yes. I believe that the paradise that awaits us when we die, and then the glorified kingdoms of heaven that follow after we are judged, are so much more brilliant and amazing and wonderful for us to even comprehend.

But the very fact that we can't comprehend it helps us to not realize that our lives are so hard down here!

So I'm glad God hasn't told us every little thing about life in the eternities that follows this world. Because then we'd want it so badly no one would want to stay down here. And we need to use our time to experience life on earth, first. Later we can go live with Him.

Anyway, just a thought I wanted to share, because I have a blog and I can. :)

Strange though it may sound, I'm even grateful for the Holocaust

2008-11-09T15:30:00.002-07:00

I'm not going to apologize for getting "preachy" in this blog - today, it's supposed to be. I'm putting up the talk I gave in church this morning on Gratitude. Mostly because, I liked it. I'm always glad when I get asked to speak in church - just another chance to publicly say that I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the church of God!

If you really knew me, you would know I’m doing my student teaching right now. One of the reasons I’ve gone into teaching is that (and if you really knew me you would know this) I have a lot to say to a listening audience. So teaching is great because you have literally a captive audience. They can’t leave! Still, even though they can’t leave, they don’t always choose to listen. So I found that one way to get 8th graders’ attention is to talk about real things – important, serious issues. Which works perfectly as we’re reading “The Diary of Anne Frank,” we can talk about the Holocaust. That shuts them up. It never fails to bring a kind of respectful silence into the room. It’s great.

Speaking of the Holocaust, I have a mission story for you. (And, um, that doesn’t mean what it sounds like, either.) So in Chile, no matter where you live, no matter how clean you were, you would at some point get fleas. Fleas especially love gringo blood, so I inevitably got fleas in every sector I worked in. As in, my arm looked like I had the measles, just covered with tiny red bites. We’d be teaching lessons and I’d be unconsciously scratching here, there, arms, legs. And sure, they have stuff you can wash your clothes in and spray on your bedding to make them die, but all you have to do was visit someone’s house, or just go outside and walk past a dog and you get more. It didn’t really bother me until I started training and my new companion had a terrible problem with fleas – pulgas, we call them. I seriously think she was allergic or something, especially at first. Or maybe she was just really gringa. But she had them everywhere.

So we were in La Ligua, the sector farthest away from our zone leaders, and we would often stay overnight with another companionship of sisters to be there for early-morning zone meetings and activities. One time we were getting ready for bed and my companion and another sister were bemoaning their plethora of flea bites. So I turned to my companion and told her this story:

I don’t know if any of you have read the book “The Hiding Place” by Corrie Ten Boom, but she was a Christian woman who was taken with her sister Betsie to a concentration camp in WWII. She wasn’t Jewish, so I can’t really remember why she was put in there, but I guess if the Nazis hate you then, in you go. They went through exactly what you would expect: horrible conditions, near-starvation, daily backbreaking labor. One day they were marched to a new barracks. They had to sleep in a small bed shared with 9 women. When they got to bed that first night, she said:

"The deck above us was too close to let us sit up. We lay back, struggling against the nausea that swept over us from the reeking straw...Suddenly I sat up, striking my head on the cross-slats above. Something had pinched my leg.

"'Fleas!' I cried. 'Betsie, the place is swarming with them! …How can we live in such a place!'

"'Show us. Show us how.' It was said so matter of factly it took me a second to realize she was praying. More and more the distinction between prayer and the rest of life seemed to be vanishing for Betsie.

"'Corrie!' she said excitedly. 'He's given us the answer! Before we asked, as He always does! In the Bible this morning. Where was it? Read that part again!'

"I glanced down the long dim aisle to make sure no guard was in sight, then drew the Bible from its pouch. 'It was in First Thessalonians,' I said. ...."Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.'"

"'That's it, Corrie! That's His answer. "Give thanks in all circumstances!" That's what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barracks!' I stared at her; then around me at the dark, foul-aired room.

"'Such as?' I said.

"'Such as being assigned here together,' she said. 'Such as what you're holding in your hands.' I looked down at the Bible.

"'Yes! Thank You, dear Lord, that there was no inspection when we entered here! Thank You for all these women, here in this room, who will meet You in these pages.'

"'Yes,' said Betsie, 'Thank You for the very crowding here. Since we're packed so close, that many more will hear!' She looked at me expectantly. 'Corrie!' she prodded.

"'Oh, all right. Thank You for the jammed, crammed, stuffed, packed suffocating crowds.'

"'Thank You,' Betsie went on serenely, 'for the fleas and for--'

"The fleas! This was too much. 'Betsie, there's no way even God can make me grateful for a flea.'

"'Give thanks in all circumstances,' she quoted. It doesn't say, 'in pleasant circumstances.' Fleas are part of this place where God has put us.

"And so we stood between tiers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas. But this time I was sure Betsie was wrong."

Well, as it happened, the two sisters were packed so close that when they read the scriptures every night, there were many others who could listen in. And as they shared the teachings of Christ, they saw a significant change in the way the prisoners treated each other – with more kindness, more politeness, more friendliness. They sometimes wondered why they weren't yelled at or forced to give away their Bible, until one day there was a problem in the barracks and someone had to ask a supervisor to come settle it.

"But she wouldn't. She wouldn't step through the door and neither would the guards. And you know why?"

"Betsie could not keep the triumph from her voice: 'Because of the fleas! That's what the guard said, "That place is crawling with fleas!'"

"My mind rushed back to our first hour in this place. I remembered Betsie's bowed head, remembered her thanks to God for creatures I could see no use for."

Anyway. So I remembered reading this story before the mission, and I told it to my companion that night to remind us to be thankful for everything, even the fleas.

After I finished Hermana West just stared at me for a long second. Then she said, “Thank you… for showing me how it could be worse if we were in a concentration camp!” Then she flung over and pulled the covers over her head.

Then, as I was preparing this talk, I found an article where Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin quotes Robert Louis Stevenson, “who wrote, ‘The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life.’” And I thought of that day with my companion and it made me smile.

I absolutely know it to be true that the more focused we are on the good things in life - the blessings we are given, everything that Heavenly Father continues to do for us - the happier we will be.

President Gordon B. Hinckley has said: “My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort” (Standing for Something [2000], 101).

Being grateful is more than saying “thank yous” in your prayers. It’s living in a way that recognizes your complete dependence on our Heavenly Father. When I’m more grateful in life, I can more easily remember my Savior and what He suffered so that I can have second, third, and seventy-times-seven more chances. I’m so grateful for the Sacrament to remind me of how I promised to be clean when I was baptized, and how He promises to clean me one more time every time I mess up.

The Savior himself taught us to be grateful at all times in Luke 6: 32-33. “For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? …. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have yet? For sinners also do even the same.” Here He was teaching the higher law of not only loving people that love us back, but loving all people. I also think it applies to gratitude: If we’re only thankful for the good times, how much is our gratitude worth? We are asked to give thanks not just for our blessings, but for ALL things, good and bad. Even the fleas.

So I’m grateful for the hard times in my life, because those times are when I realize, yet again, that there’s no way I can possibly fall. I have too many support systems, in my friends, my family, the ward. I’m so indebted and thankful for the people in my life that bring me up.

Being grateful also helps me find the most important things in life to focus on. I absolutely loved President Thomas S. Monson’s talk in this past conference about finding joy in the journey. In it he said this great quote:

“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”

We can have that same kind of experience when we open our eyes and appreciate all that we have. I’m immensely grateful to my Father in Heaven for all He’s given – especially when He gave His Son to pay for my sins. I know I can never repay that, but the more grateful I am, the more I can try, and the happier I will be along the way.

That’s the truth.

New Look, New Look

2008-10-26T20:49:00.006-06:00

This weekend, thanks to skilled professionals, both my blog and I got a fresh new look. My good friend Ali offered her services as design consultant and brilliant web enthusiast to redesign the look of my blog. (Don't you just love daisies? They're really the happiest flower.) And my new friend at a sweet hair salon helped me color and cut my hair! Not to subtly endorse Obama or anything, but sometimes it is time for a change.

After church I went on a drive up Millcreek Canyon with the parental units, to take some pictures of the fading, but still very pretty, fall foliage. Take a look!

I came across a magical leaf that glowed bright red.

But then my father took a cooler picture with Mom and me all fuzzy-like in the background. Dad: 1, Beckie: 0.

Yay for fall in Utah!

And now for something completely different... what is it with 80's movies and boys on bicycles??? I just watched the classic Christian warm-fuzzy "Feature Films for Families" movie The Buttercream Gang. And the many idyllic summer-afternoon boys-on-bicycles scenes suddenly made me think: hey, The Goonies! Karate Kid! E.T.!! Kids nowadays don't ride bikes anymore...will they even understand the references to such carefree times? I guess mostly I was thinking about this because I also spent 88 minutes of my life this weekend watching Hot Rod. Yeah, there was a lot of bike riding in that one. But, it is a lot newer than those others, if not much better. With all the punch-dancing and hair-band rock music, it treads mainly in nostalgia territory. Man, that totally shatters my universe.

UEA: Not the United Arab Emirates

2008-10-19T17:18:00.008-06:00

Wheee for UEA weekend! There's just nothing like having two consecutive days off school. So I decided to take advantage of it. Here's a little bit of what was going on:

Wednesday I stayed at school until 5:30 PM (a personal record) grading the 7th grade Utah Studies projects (on their first family members to move to Utah). When I finally finished I met up with Lisa and we drove to Logan! Wow... Every time I enter that valley again it feels like coming home. Anna was kind enough to put me up for the night, and in 24 hours I played it up, Utah State style - watching movies, midnight horchata run, Office night, going to class, Hazel's bread, Aggie ice cream, etc. We even went on a much-needed hike Thursday afternoon, in the unseasonably warm weather, to the Wind Caves (I've been there before, of course, but this time it didn't rain).

Aimee and Lisa with our friends Varuna and Lucas. I stole these pictures directly from Varuna's Facebook account - thanks Varuna!

Hey, don't knock the fuzzy camera phone zooms. Isn't an unfocused photo better than no photo at all? Here's Lucas, Lisa, me, and Aimee.

Friday night my brother Thomas, Kenneth, and my sister Anna and I paid fifteen dollars to wander around David Archuleta's face. Ewww! What I meant was, of course, we went to the corn maze at Thanksgiving Point that looks just like the kid. Here's a picture I stole from http://php.terra.com/english/gallery/music/gallery.php?gallery=10581 :

For Anna it was a chance to get inside David Archuleta's head; I just got lost in his eyes.

The pictures of my face inside a cow head, incidentally, are not included here. Though here is Thomas, for your viewing pleasure, looking pumpkin-faced and sheepish, respectively.

Take note: the following picture is slightly dark to see and vaguely scary anyway. It was this giant inflatable monster. You walked in his mouth, past the uvula, into the esophogus and all the way though the intestines, while people dressed up as, I don't know, red blood cells walked around jumping out at you.

We called it the Magic School Bus experience. Delicious.

We also enjoyed jumping on the giant pillow, which was really some weird kind of trampoline.

Here be Anna and Kenneth on the giant rocking chair.

A strange-faced Anna and I, stuck in the maze. I actually had a lot of fun! I would say it was overpriced, but since I really did enjoy myself, I'm going to go with Worth It.

Saturday, though, was even less expensive and even more worth it. Let me explain--- no, there is too much. Let me sum up: My favorite radio station 101.9 The End sponsored a concert of this new band Thriving Ivory, for only 5 bucks a ticket. I felt a slight ownership of this group because I heard them the first time Parker played the whole album on the air about a month ago, and I liked it so much I bought their album (online, used, for like 58 cents).

Now I've heard a lot of people don't enjoy the lead singer's voice, which is understandable--- it sounded a little different and weird to me too - at first. Now that I'm used to it, I really enjoy the unique sound. I'm so sick of bands sounding the same - Lifehouse, Daughtry, 3 Doors Down, etc, ugh. At least this is something new.

The concert was at the Murray Theater, and sold out. We still found a great spot, though. I loved being able to see over people's heads!

Of cousre the opening bands were local and unremarkable, but the main event was surprisingly entertaining. They were all very energetic, if a little emo. The crowd was supportive and welcoming (i.e. we screamed a lot. Especially Carol and her Xena call).

I don't have a really good shot - again, camera phones here, hello! - but I was really impressed with the lead guitarist. He was brilliant. Very talented, just grinning the whole time, and an exellent soloist.

It was Jenny's first concert. I think she liked it.

Finally, this morning a friend of mine who works at the temple downtown invited me to the annual Salt Lake Temple Devotional, an amazing and beautiful experience. It's such a sacred place that not everyone is always allowed in all parts of the building, but today was special permission to see the assembly room, in which I had never before been.

See those two rows of windows in the middle? Well, let me just say that I was on the other side. With the prophet, President Monson, and the president of the temple and his wife, Brother and Sister Walker (who, incidentally, happen to be in my home ward). Their messages were mostly of gratitude for the hours and hours of service of those who keep the temple working all day. President Monson also related a few stories (of course) of members of the church in then-Soviet Europe trying to get permission to come to the US or even to another European country just to visit the temple. But while the messages were great, my favorite part was just sitting in that room before the meeting started, and feeling the spirit that was present. If I could always remember that feeling, I know I'd do anything possible to always be looking for any excuse to get back to that building.

And now, lamentably, the weekend is nearing its close and I need to go over my lesson plans for the upcoming week. I hope that was enough info on my life to tide you over. I'll be back....soon.

¡Feliz 18 de Septiembre!

2008-09-18T16:11:00.013-06:00

Ok everyone, I've restrained myself long enough...it's time for a cele-Chilean-abration! This is me (and some random chilean guy behind me, smile random chilean guy!), many moons and several thousand miles ago, enjoying some rico pollo abrazado y papas fritas. Mmm. What you don't also know is that I'm at a big box store called Lider, similar to WalMart, eating that chicken and fries. Yum!

So now it's time for a little time-warp. Let's pretend it's 18 de Septiembre, 2006! The place? La Ligua, V region, Chile. The occasion? Um, I forgot exactly what it is they're celebrating for their Patriotic Fiestas, but it's great, and we should sing and dance for it. So we the missionaries of the Quillota Zone decided to have a great PR activity where we get local members to dance and we sing Chilean songs to general public humiliation (ours) and delight (hopefully, theirs).
And here it is: a fine example of the Chilean "cueca," the national dance. In case you're wondering what the American equivalant is...well, there isn't. We have national birds, fish, anthems, talk-like-a-pirate days, but no national dance. (That I know of.) Anyway, this is it. And here's another:

Here's where the ward members all do a little dance in front of a bunch of normal, everyday Chilean people. Oh, it's awesome. You always get to do the double-clap like that when you watch. And I love the guys' attire: awesome ponchos and hats and even boots. Watch!

Here they are in pause-motion. So you can fully appreciate the traditional clothing. That kid is only like fourteen, but he's way good.

We were taping together little flags to give to people for free. This is that photo I sent home and Mom had up on the fridge for so long it turned yellowed and crusty. Go Hermana Castro! And hurrah for La Ligua sweaters!!

Oh, and we couldn't resist getting one pictures with this cute old lady. She was the mother-in-law of the lady dancing, who was a sister in the ward there. But this abuelita never wanted to get baptized. That's ok. She still served us lunch like once a week. I was cool with that. (P.S. No, it's not a messed up Texas flag. It's Chile. It came first.)

I like this one for two reasons: A) The crazy random elder on the right, and B) The crazy random dancing guy on the left.

Finally, as if you didn't already have enough pictures of me eating, I present to you what the Fiestas Patrias are really about: stuffing yourself silly on "asado" (grilled meat) and whatever delicious food you can find. Maybe it looks like I just posed in front of all that beef just to make it look like I ate a lot. It's not posed. It's real. I ate it all. It was delicious.

And thank you for joining me on this selfish jaunt down mission-memory lane. You've also learned to appreciate another culture! I commend you. Now, go and Talk Like A Pirate!

The Summer of Doing Things I’d Never Done Before

2008-08-21T23:34:00.004-06:00

August is almost over! And to think it was only May 1^st the last time it snowed in Logan.

“Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer.” ---William Shakespeare

So here it is, my Summer of New Experiences all together in a neat little list. Maybe not so neat…it gets a little messy at times, but straightens itself up in the end. Kind of like how my summer went!

50 THINGS I HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE BUT I HAVE DONE THIS SUMMER

Lived in Logan in the summer
Worked in Logan in the summer
Worked two jobs
Hiked the Wind Caves (to the top, in the rain)
Played so much sand volleyball
Played so much ultimate frizbee with the ward
Invented the game “scrizbee” (soccer + frizbee)
Been to Vernal, Utah
Seen so many movies on their opening weekend (ahem: Baby Mama, Iron Man, Prince Caspian, Indiana Jones 4, Incredible Hulk, Get Smart, Wall-E, Mamma Mia, Dark Knight, The Mummy 3… Yeah, I know)
Listened to so much classic rock (mostly at work)
Been at a cemetery on Memorial Day, in the rain, with bagpipes
Gotten to know just about everyone in my student ward
Gotten a ticket for not wearing my seatbelt…when I was wearing it
Learned so much about the judicial system
Hiked the Crimson Trail…twice (once in complete darkness)
Been a bridesmaid
Been to Malad, Idaho
Attended a local concert at The White Owl in Logan
Canoed at 1^st Dam
Seen Saturn’s rings through a telescope (through a telescope)
Performed (twice!) in the Summer Symphony
Enjoyed 4^th of July fireworks…four days in a row (Hyrum, Logan, Bear Lake, and homemade)
Rowed across Porcupine Reservoir
Cliff-jumped, even if it was just three or four feet high
Stayed overnight in a cabin at Bear Lake
Gone country dancing, and actually danced and enjoyed myself
Hiked to Temple Fork
Taken summer classes or done homework in July
Seen a midnight movie premiere in Logan
Been to a rodeo
Been to a Demolition Derby
Rafted down the Oneida Narrows
Cleaned “The Kitchen Sink” at Angie’s
Jumped off a bridge into the freezing water at 1^st Dam
Lain on the grass at midnight watching the stars and listening to Jimmy Eat World
Been to L.A., Hollywood and greater San Diego
Seen dolphins, seals, and sand crabs on the beach in California
Touched bat rays, eels, sea turtles, and seen all sorts of water creatures at Sea World
Eaten at In ‘N Out burger - twice in as many days
Driven from Los Angeles to Logan in one day
Paid $4.39 a gallon for gasoline
Three words: Midnight Beto’s run (ok, so it may be Rancherito’s now, but nobody really calls it that. Same building, same food, same grease)
Watched a movie on a laptop in Logan Canyon
Seen “Into the Woods” live, or any musical by the Utah Festival Opera
Rowed an entirely cardboard and duct tape boat across a body of water
Stood on a wheat thresher
Been to the Cache County Fair
Been rock climbing/repelling down a 60-ft. mountain wall
Watched “Signs” outside at night
Been to the top of the Old Main tower

I just read through this list at least three times and watched my entire summer like a flashback-montage running through my head. I am so spoiled! Well, maybe the proper word would be blessed. I’ve had so many great experiences – and the best part is, I can look forward to so many more!

But the reason it’s so fun to remember all these things is not just thinking about what I did, but who I did it with. I wouldn’t have enjoyed any of it without all the great friendships we built, created, and reinforced these past few months. Wow… thanks, guys.

“Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.” ---Henry James

“Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.” ---Ada Louise Huxtable

“People take pictures of the summer, just in case someone thought they had missed it. And to prove that it really existed.” ---Ray Davies

“I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.” ---Empire Records

Refresh, Renew, Restart

2008-08-11T13:50:00.004-06:00

Goodbye, Logan.... Hello, ironic twist!

So I'm sitting in the little office at the Creamies factory where I've spent most of my summer. It's really slowed down here since August started - my boss had to let his summer workers go because the orders from Associated Foods and WalMart had declined drastically, and hardly anyone comes in the front anymore. It's a pretty big change from how it was when I started in May and June. I've definitely come to more fully appreciate the frozen treats business - all the behind-the-scenes work that goes on to get ice cream from boxes of butter, sugar, milk, and flavoring into tasty Creamies you buy at the store. And Charlie's will forever be my favorite ice cream place in Logan.

Last week I said goodbye to the gang at the Analysis, Assessments, and Accreditation office at Utah State. They were good friends of mine - after all, I worked there for almost an entire year. Luckily I lived to see the day when my co-secretary Marilyn got on Facebook, so I get to keep in touch that way.

Now my car's packed and I've already moved all my stuff out of the good old Canyon Terrace house. Yesterday we had an ice cream social after church to get rid of a 3-gallon tub of Carmel Cashew that I bought for the sweet, sweet price that we sell them at work. There was no way I could get it home without it melting all over, so I enlisted the wardies in a service project of eating to get rid of it for me. Good times...good eating.

The best goodbye was my farewell to Cache Valley on Saturday night. I went up with my friend Nic to a park on the edge of the mountain after visiting the fair, and we were met with a most amazing sight: The expanse of the valley, all lit up, especially the A to the north and the temple to the south, stars right above our heads, and the most electrifying lightning storm on the west by the mountains. It was breathtaking. (Literally...since Nic had been around animals at the fair and had allergic reactions to them...bwah ha.) I realized how much I'd come to love this place we call Logan. It really is beautiful!

And I've told this story a couple times, but here's once more for the blogosphere: I'd been in the MTC for a couple weeks when we got a new group of sisters in our zone. We welcomed them in, took care of them, showed them around, but three short weeks later they had to leave to go to the Peru MTC to finish up their training. I'll always remember what one of the girls wrote in my journal as they were going: "So, I'm way bummed that I'm leaving. But not bummed enough to stay!"

It may not always have been true these past few days, but it is now. I'm ready for a fresh new start. It's sad to end, and scary to begin something new... but it does a body good.

Summer, Part 2: This Time It's Not Summer Part 1

2008-07-22T13:40:00.002-06:00

Like Ebeneezer Scrooge of old, I feel like I've been given another chance. Second Summer will be just as good, and better, than the first half was. I've finally finished my academic experiment: taking an entire semester's worth of class - two classes, actually - in two weeks time. Monday through Friday, I was at basically at school from 8 AM until 5 PM.

That's a lot of sitting time.

Not that I don't sit when I work every day. But the biggest difference is that when you work, you leave and you're done. When you leave school, you take it home, and you cannot escape it.

I suppose I learned, and I liked going to class for social aspects, and now I'm six credits closer to graduating. And the best part is, it's the last day of school all over again. Summer is reborn!

Court!

2008-07-09T17:01:00.002-06:00

So if you haven't heard... I lost in court today. I was sentenced to 15-20 days in prison, which is why I'm writing now from jail. Thanks, American tax payers, for maximum-security's high speed internet connection!

No, I'm kidding: I only had to pay the fine. And speaking of fine, so am I. Really!

Backstory: In case you didn't hear, I got a citation (forever ago: it was May 30th!) when I was a passenger in my roommate's car, for not wearing a seatbelt. Yeah, it's taken this long for Logan to get around to making me pay it!

I left my first class a little early and arrived a tiny bit late to my later class, but overall it fit nicely into my schedule. When I first got there I got to see the video from the cop car (I'm a movie star!) and was pleased to see I had remembered what he said almost word for word. Then I went up and spoke to the judge.

I was really surprised to see that it was just like on TV - without a jury of course, but I sat at a desk, there was a bailiff, the judge was a middle aged woman with crazy bushy hair and those same frumpy robes. The cop's prosecutor even asked questions with the same slippery jargon as on those shows, and I even got to call up my roommates as witnesses.

Lisa swore in for me, and Jenny did too (after the trial, she even swore for me literally! Woot!). They both told it like it was and I couldn't be more grateful for their help. Well, Lisa would disagree - she wishes she could've helped out more. I was up there and couldn't think of anything more to ask them as witnesses, nor any cross-examining questions to ask the officer. Afterwards Lisa said she would've represented me. I definitely think she should be a judge. After she's a teacher. ;)

Really, I was so much more calm and together than the first time, when I'd gone in to make my plea. I wasn't nervous; I wasn't even mad. I think it was because of the high volume of praying I had done the previous 24 hours, but I decided beforehand that I was fine with whatever happened. Sure, I could've just paid the ticket and not had to go through all this, but it was definitely worth the try. I remember thinking, even as the prosecutor was going through his schpiel, that this was great just for the experience. Another notch on the List of Things I'd Never Done! (It's going great this summer!!)

There just came a point when I realized that it was more important for me to be nice and possibly lose than win with the price of being mean. I guess that plays my hand - I'm really just a softie at heart. But I didn't feel good about fighting. Instead, I felt great, sitting in front of the judge, prosecutor, and police officer, smiling, friendly, calmly stating my position.

The officer said that it was dusk, around 9:15 or 9:30 when this happened, and he had a good look into the car and saw my seatbelt hanging loose. (Actually, it was at least 10 pm, since that was how late we'd left from getting our hair cut, so it would've been dark by then, and my seatbelt was never hanging loose - it was clicked the whole time. It was only the shoulder strap that I adjusted lower.) The prosecutor was really good with words though, and ran a nice circle around me. I couldn't even think of anything to ask! Honestly, I felt pretty intimidated by the judge, who had told me off when I first got there for talking when I didn't know I wasn't supposed to talk yet. Sigh.

The judge finally decided that I wore the seatbelt lower on my shoulder than normal, meaning I "failed to wear a properly adjusted and fastened safety belt."

I'm not going to get mad. Well, the only thing that was insulting happened after I explained why I was wearing it low - I'm short, so when I wear it the way it comes out it cuts into my neck, so I push it down lower, but still high enough that, I believe, it would still save my life. Then the judge looked down at me and said, "Not to be mean or anything, but that's why they make booster seats. My granddaughter has the same problem." Ouch. Ok, I'm short, but I don't need a ...a booster seat! I smiled and thanked her for the advice. I also felt bad for the cop who had to take time out of his day to come repeat his story in what must have seemed like a trivial little matter, and even apologized (really quickly and quietly) as he walked out. So I can't be mad, really. Even the prosecutor was kind to me afterward.

Luckily I have a few roommates that can get mad for me. It's like when Harry Potter feels happy even when bad things happen to him, because "Hermione's and Ron’s indignation on his behalf was worth about a hundred points to him... his heart felt lighter than air." Thanks, friends!!

So, yes, I paid the $45 fine. It's the same amount of money I spent on Monday buying a single textbook for one of my summer classes. Ah, it's great being a college student.

Incidentally...I had been feeling bummed lately, a little nostalgic, about leaving Logan. I don't feel that bad about it anymore. ;)

In the end...believe me when I say I'm glad this happened. It was an educational experience and I'm glad I could learn about the court system on something so small. I hope I never have to do this again!

Idealism in the Face of the Impending Bitter Awakening

2008-07-03T09:32:00.006-06:00

In terms of myself as a preservice teacher, I realize that I am idealistic and yet I can do nothing to change that. I can't force myself to become embittered and cynical because I have no experience to warrant such feelings. I suppose I know it's impossible for me to change all my students' lives, to ensure that everyone passes my class with flying colors, to make my future students learn... and yet I don't know that, because I want it to be true so badly I think I really believe it.

Where did that rant-ito (um, Spanglish for "tiny rant?") come from? Through my multiple clickings today I found this article in The Atlantic Monthly that I really, really interested me. It's written by a part-time, adjunct professor who teaches the nontraditional, returning students in like a community college, and is saddened and frustrated with being the bad guy in "the system." S/he is in charge of teaching English 101 and 102-type classes to people who are already working full time but need some post-secondary credit for promotions or to get into some other field. The students are also mostly described as illiterate. And so this writer is faced with being the bad guy: having to fail people that were accepted and perhaps led to believe that they would suceed when really they can't, and don't. The article says:

"No one has drawn up the flowchart and seen that, although more-widespread college admission is a bonanza for the colleges and nice for the students and makes the entire United States of America feel rather pleased with itself, there is one point of irreconcilable conflict in the system, and that is the moment when the adjunct instructor, who by the nature of his job teaches the worst students, must ink the F on that first writing assignment."

What is so depressing about this article is that it rings true: we all know that college is not for everyone. The writer of the article even mentions how 9 out of 15 students in the class fail. And I can see where this would hurt the most: not the universities, who get their tuition money whether or not the student passes the class, but the teachers and the individuals themselves, who are the ones who have to deliver and accept, respectively, the bad news. The article continues:

"America, ever-idealistic, seems wary of the vocational-education track. We are not comfortable limiting anyone’s options. Telling someone that college is not for him seems harsh and classist and British, as though we were sentencing him to a life in the coal mines. I sympathize with this stance; I subscribe to the American ideal. Unfortunately, it is with me and my red pen that that ideal crashes and burns. "

I found this article through a link from a teacher's blog called http://teachingprofessor.blogspot.com/ and one of the comments from that post was from another teacher who also is in charge of "numerous students who do not have the necessary skills to be in college" and is terribly tired of it. She says,

"The writer of the article is not blaming the students personally for their failure, but s/he is exhausted at taking the blame. And so am I - so exhausted in fact that I am leaving teaching. I can no longer look over a class of 24 students and know that as many as half of them will not be able to achieve the level of writing proficiency they need to go on, that failing my class will be the reason they do not go on in their programme or receive their certificate. "

Um...remember the part where she says she's leaving teaching? She's sick of watching people not make it.

It's too much for me to ignore. Obviously something similar will happen to me. Even from a purely statistical perspective, it's clear that not everyone I will teach will suceed. So it seems it will overtake me either way, pushing me away from teaching so I won't have to tell people they're failures, or keeping me on but in a gradually more embittered and depressive state.

Raise your hand if you still want to be a teacher!

And yet I do. Which is exactly my point: I still don't believe it. I can't understand the notion of giving up or giving in because I haven't yet begun.

What do these scenarios mean for a junior high or high school teacher? I mean, the problems these college professors had were from "poorly prepared students." That only seems to make my job that much more important, and essential, in preparing students for whatever lies ahead. Ok, so not everyone will go to college. But I can still prepare them for other things they might need to come up against in their lives. And I can prepare those who are heading toward college to suceed in future classes. That's my role.

One last thing I really appreciated from the Atlantic Monthly article is when the author noted the growing assumption that everyone in the American workforce in general should be better educated, how there is a sense that "we want the police officer who stops the car with the broken taillight to have a nodding acquaintance with great literature. And when all is said and done, my personal economic interest in booming college enrollments aside, I don’t think that’s such a boneheaded idea." Me neither!!! I especially love when the article lists a couple of ways that literature might be able to broaden perspectives of people in all areas of the workforce:

"Will having read Invisible Man make a police officer less likely to indulge in racial profiling? Will a familiarity with Steinbeck make him more sympathetic to the plight of the poor, so that he might understand the lives of those who simply cannot get their taillights fixed? Will it benefit the correctional officer to have read The Autobiography of Malcolm X? The health-care worker Arrowsmith? Should the child-welfare officer read Plath’s “Daddy”? Such one-to-one correspondences probably don’t hold. But although I may be biased, being an English instructor and all, I can’t shake the sense that reading literature is informative and broadening and ultimately good for you. If I should fall ill, I suppose I would rather the hospital billing staff had read The Pickwick Papers, particularly the parts set in debtors’ prison. "

Not gonna lie: I haven't read all the aforementioned works of literature, though I have heard of (most of) them. But I can see where the argument is going, and I appreciate it: that "reading is informative and broadening and ultimately good for you."

Remember, that's why I'm teaching English: like milk, it does a body good. :)

A blog within a blog within a blog

2008-07-02T09:18:00.003-06:00

"If I'm just adding to the noise, turn off this song."
---Switchfoot

Wow. I just read something that really turned me off blogging. And that something is.... everyone else's blogs.

Since I have nothing to do at my morning job, I literally sit and play on the internet for three hours and get paid for it. I have my rounds - my favorite is clicked.msnbc.msn.com, because it's just a bunch of links to more silly entertaining internet stuff.

Today Clicked said this:

"Speaking of giving up, One Post Wonder is a blog that features blogs that have only managed a single post. Blogging seemed like such a great idea until they actually tried it."

So I clicked it. Funny idea, yes? But in the end, so terribly, terribly humiliating.

And here I am...adding to the noise.

Thanks for reading. You get a cookie!

Sharing: It's the icing on the cake

2008-06-08T00:08:00.002-06:00

Friday night I experienced one of those fulfilling, this-makes-it-all-worth-it moments. A that's-why-i-first-got-into-this-business feeling, where something you made, something you did, visibly affected someone else.

I made a CD.

It started last week, when my boss at the Creamie's factory - who also runs Charlie's Ice Cream parlor here in Logan - and I got to talking about music. He's a huge fan of The Who and etc classic rock, whereas I tend to keep myself updated on current trends. When he realized that, he said, "Hey, do you think you could make a list, or burn a CD of some of the popular songs that kids are listening to nowadays?"

Um, yes. I mean, that's practically my day job, I do it so much. Ok, besides my real day job.

"Good," he continued. "Then I'll put it in the jukebox in Charlie's."

Right then something inside my soul blew up. A tiny explosion of happy.

So, I bought a bunch of songs off Amazon (I still don't have iTunes), and used some of Alan's stuff from 7th Day of May 2008, and made this sweetawesome mix. Last Saturday, it showed up in the jukebox. CD number 48. 25 cents for one song or 5 songs for a dollar. YES!

We didn't get around to visiting until last night, after Mary Anne's wedding reception in Malad. At 11pm Charlie's is still the "cool" ice cream hangout for high school and some college kids. So there we were, all dressed up, eating baby-scoop ice creams, and listening to Coldplay's Viva La Vida on a jukebox. We realized, once again, that we are so cool.

But the best part was when Pork and Beans by Weezer came up, and I sat there watching the high schoolers in front of us rocking out. I mean, they were loving it! Another group of college-ish aged kids had been heading toward the door, but when that song came on they slowed and lingered. "Are you sure this is the new Weezer?" "I don't know...but that definitely sounds like Rivers Cuomo!" They sat back down and finished the song before they left. And those high schoolers were air-guitaring and singing along.

I sat back in my plastic bench seat and just grinned. Why? Because I CREATED THAT MOMENT.

Best day of my life.

(Exaggeration added for effect. Enlarged to show texture. Serving suggestion only. Do not attempt.)

To find someone you love, you gotta be someone you love.

2008-05-28T21:27:00.003-06:00

"I'm not going to teach what the manual says to teach," my coworker told me. She was talking about how she teaches the Young Women of her ward, has a 17 year old daughter herself, and has been going through a difficult divorce. "I want to know what you think, what I should tell these girls instead."

"Why?" I wondered. "What does the manual say?"

"Oh, you know - Prince Returned Missionary finds the beautiful young woman, carries her up to the castle on the hill, everything after is perfect... I'm not telling them that. I'm not perpetuating untruths! I fell for it. I won't do that to them.

"That's why I'm asking lots of people their opinion. What would YOU say to them? What advice would you give on the subject of marriage to a group of 12-18 year old girls?"

So I decided to respond. Good thing I don't have much to do at work - this is all I did the rest of the day. Here's what I said:

I do think many times we are led to believe that marriage is the goal, the end, the finish line. We seem to feel that being single is a disease that is cured by marriage. (And then we'll never be sick again!) Or that we're playing a game in life where those who get married are the winners. Too many times I'm afraid that lots of girls are taught that marriage is a reward: that if you're righteous enough as you grow up, if you keep the commandments and make good choices, God will give you a good husband, and you'll be happy forever after.

This is a dangerous and unfair outlook. Not only does it imply that those who haven't married or who don't marry are failures or sinners or simply flawed, it also suggests that all us need to be thinking about is marriage, marriage all the time. Find a boy, get a boy, marry the boy, and ding ding ding!! you're a winner.

Calm down, everybody. It doesn't work like that. Even in "The Game of LIFE" getting married is only in the first little part of the game. You still have your whole life afterwards!

Yes, I do have the goal to marry in the temple some day.
No. I have the goal to be a person who is worthy enough to marry someone worthy in the temple someday. I have faith to marry in the temple someday.

There are two action parts of that faith: one depends on me, and the other, doesn't. The part that depends on me is what kind of person I am. So I'm working at being the kind of person not only that someone else can love, but one that I love.

I ask myself, Self, "If you were to get married tomorrow, are you prepared to be a good spouse? Would you bring to your marriage personal qualities that would make you a good partner? Are you a good communicator? Are you a good problem solver? Do you have skills to create a nurturing climate in your home? Do you have enough faith, hope, and charity to create a marriage that will survive and thrive?" (Sister Beck's talk)

Sound scary, doesn't it? Then, I remember how not everything depends on me. Actually, only a third of it does - the other thirds belong to whomever I walk into the sealing room with that day, and to God.

It still sounds like a lot of hard work. Well, it is. It's not rainbows, unicorns and sprinkles. I know I'll be happy, but only if I learn how to be happy right now. "Wake up and do something more than dream of your mansion above!"

Even Sister Beck said in a recent CES fireside that "there is no magical prince" coming to sweep you away.

If your life has good parts and difficult parts right now, that's what it'll be like when you get married. You can't think that it'll solve all your problems. You can't think that any little nagging thing you don't like about yourself will just go away when you have someone else in your life. Instead it'll be magnified, as will any little nagging problems with him.

So when we talk about preparing for a temple marriage, what we're really saying is, prepare yourself to be a good person. BE a good person right now! In the words to a song I love ("Concrete Bed" by Nada Surf), "To find someone you love, you gotta be someone you love."

Sister Beck emphasizes that there's no guy out there who "will gladly appreciate unclean or unpleasant habits or a careless appearance in you. Yes, a righteous man will love you for what is in your mind and heart, but he will be even more grateful for a woman who values cleanliness and loveliness in herself and in her surroundings. Righteous men are drawn to women who have radiant countenances. Also, no righteous priesthood holder will willingly tolerate a pornography habit in his wife, nor will he appreciate her displaying and advertising her precious body to other men by the tight or otherwise immodest and inappropriate ways she dresses and conducts herself. Additionally, I have yet to meet a man who enjoys dramatic emotional displays and temper tantrums. There is no mate who will cheerfully overlook selfishness.

Now is your season to develop righteous and respectful habits and Christlike qualities such as kindness and long-suffering that will bless your future home and family.

Please understand what I just said. I want you to know that your imperfections and weaknesses will go with you into your marriage and will be magnified in that setting. Unless you are getting married today, you still have time to eliminate bad habits and develop good habits and qualities that will bless your marriage and family. President Thomas S. Monson has taught, "It is worthwhile to look ahead, to set a course, to be at least partly ready when the moment of decision comes."⁶

I believe that marriage is something that happens. You can't plan for it - you can't think, "Ok, i'll go to school, graduate, then find someone great and get married." You can't be obsessed by it. You can't know now when that's going to happen. So don't plan on it...but be ready for it. I know - that sounds like a contradiction. What do I mean by that?

One lazy Saturday in the middle of a semester at Utah State University, I woke up with tons of things to do that day. I planned it out: do my laundry, clean the kitchen, practice violin, finish homework, and write a letter to my little sister on a mission. I was perfectly content to finish the things I planned to get done that day. By about 3:30 I was a little bored of just working around the house and I wanted to go out, to go play, but no one was around. So I decided to continue with my plans, and I was sitting on the floor writing to my sister and watching a movie when all my roommates piled in to the living room. "Hey, we're going down to Ogden to run some errands, want to come?" I thought about it and realized I did want to. I hadn't finished everything on my list, and I was in the middle of something else by then, but I'd worked hard and though I had other plans, I was ready when someone called. I feel like that's how I need to live my life right now: I make plans (go to college, get a job, always learning and doing new things), and I enjoy them, but at the same moment I'm ready to change those plans if it's called for. Imagine how sick I would feel if I'd sat around all day worrying and wondering when someone would come over and invite me to do something! Instead I was able to get a lot done and split my time evenly. I also wasn't so caught up in my own plans that I couldn't put them aside to enjoy myself with friends for a while. Plus, the next day was Sunday and I could use the afternoon to write letters. I just feel like things will happen when they happen, and to always have a plan just in case it's not happening.

Incidentally...I also believe that God wants us to marry because He wants us to be happy, and no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves, we need other people to be truly happy. So if He wants it, He will definitely help us as we work toward it. I know it.

Graph of a Big Movie Speech

2008-05-22T10:14:00.006-06:00

Thought it strikingly appropriate. Thanks for the tip-off, Alan! More graph humor and song chart memes here.

Oh, and lol!

BIG INSPIRATIONAL MOVIE SPEECHES by PRESIDENTS, COACHES, CAPTAINS, or LEADERS

2008-05-20T11:14:00.006-06:00

In the MTC one day my friend Hermana Tanner - not companion but roommate - admitted to us her fascination with famous Presidential speeches. She has perfectly memorized the Declaration of Independence, the Gettysburg Address, and the following quote from Independence Day. I was so impressed I promised myself I'd do the same someday.

Well, it's been more than two years, and I'm getting around to it. They're not quite memorized, but I thought I'd at least collect some really good ones and blog a sweet to-do list. I know there are some really good ones that I forgot to include, so please, let me know.

BIG INSPIRATIONAL MOVIE SPEECHES

by PRESIDENTS, COACHES, CAPTAINS, or LEADERS:

Independence Day:

President Thomas Whitmore: Good morning.
[PA doesn't work. Turns it on]
President Thomas Whitmore: Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

Remember the Titans:

Coach Boone: This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other of not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, maybe we'll learn to play this game like men.

Return of the King:

Theoden: Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day... a red day... ere the sun rises! Ride now!... Ride now!... Ride! Ride to ruin and the world's ending! Death! Death! DEATH! Forth, Eorlingas!

Aragorn: Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!*

Rudy:

Rudy: We're gonna go inside, we're gonna go outside, inside and outside. We're gonna get 'em on the run boys and once we get 'em on the run we're gonna keep 'em on the run. And then we're gonna go go go go go go and we're not gonna stop til we get across that goalline. This is a team they say is... is good, well I think we're better than them. They can't lick us, so what do you say men?

Fortune: You're 5 foot nothin', 100 and nothin', and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now, it ain't gonna never happen. Now go on back.

Dead Poets Society:

John Keating: We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

Braveheart:

William Wallace: I AM William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men... and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?
Veteran: Against that? No! We will run. And we will live.
William Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!

Dave:

Dave: If you've ever seen the look on somebody's face the day they finally get a job, I've had some experience with this, they look like they could fly. And its not about the paycheck, it's about respect, it's about looking in the mirror and knowing that you've done something valuable with your day. And if one person could start to feel this way, and then another person, and then another person, soon all these other problems may not seem so impossible. You don't really know how much you can do until you, stand up and decide to try.

Dave: Mr. Speaker. Vice President. Members of the Congress. Fellow Americans. I wish I could be here today under different circumstances. There are many things about this country we should discuss. But I realize that's not possible now. As you know, my former chief of staff has implicated me in a scandal involving the First Liberty Savings and Loan. Once people start discussing a scandal, it's hard to talk about anything else. So let's talk about it. Bob Alexander has accused me of --I'll read this to make sure I get it right-- ''...illegally influencing regulators on behalf of campaign contributors...interfering with an ongoing Justice Department investigation...and violating federal election laws in the area of campaign finance.'' Let's get right to the guts of it: every one of these accusations is absolutely true.
Bob Alexander: Ha ha ha! Die, you pond scum!
Dave: I'm the President, and as they say, the buck stops here. So I take full responsibility for each one of my illegal actions. But that's not the whole story. And I think the American people are entitled to the real truth. I have here evidence in the form of notes, letters, and written memoranda, proving that Bob Alexander was involved in each of these illegal acts, and in most cases planned them as well. Allegations of wrongdoing have also been made against Nance. Allegations of wrongdoing have also been made against Vice President Nance. Now, as this evidence will prove, at no time and in no way was the Vice President involved in any of this affair. Bob just made all that up. Vice President Nance is a good and decent public servant, and I want to apologize for any pain that this has caused him or his family.
[Shot of Bob Alexander, watching TV alone]
While we're on the subject, I'd like to apologize to the American people. You see, I forgot that I was hired to do a job for you. And it was just a temp job at that. I forgot I had millions of people who were paying me to make their lives a bit better. I didn't live up to my part of the bargain. There are certain things you should expect from your president. I ought to care more about you than I do about me. I ought to care about- more about- what's right than I do about what's popular. I ought to be willing to give up this whole thing...for something I believe in...because if I'm not...if I'm not.... If I'm not, then... maybe I don't belong here in the first....

The Fugitive:

Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him.

Snow Falling On Cedars:

Nels Gudmundsson: I am an old man. I do not walk so well anymore, and one of my eyes is close to useless. My life is drawing to a close. Why do I say this? I say this because it means I ponder matters in the light of death in a way that you do not. I feel like a traveller descended from Mars, astonished at what passes here. What I see is the same human frailty passed from generation to generation. We hate one another. We are the victims of irrational fears.You may think this is a small trial. In a small place. Well, it isn’t. Every once in a while, somewhere in the world, Humanity goes on trial. And integrity. And decency. Every once in a while, common folks get called on to give the report card for the human race. In the name of humanity, do your duty as jurors. Return this man to his wife and children. Set him free. As you must.

Chariots of Fire:

Eric Liddell: You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape - especially if you've got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe you're dinner's burnt. Maybe you haven't got a job. So who am I to say, "Believe, have faith," in the face of life's realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, "Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me." If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.

Amazing Grace:

Lord Charles Fox: When people speak of great men, they think of men like Napoleon - men of violence. Rarely do they think of peaceful men. But contrast the reception they will receive when they return home from their battles. Napoleon will arrive in pomp and in power, a man who's achieved the very summit of earthly ambition. And yet his dreams will be haunted by the oppressions of war. William Wilberforce, however, will return to his family, lay his head on his pillow and remember: the slave trade is no more.

Apollo 13:

Jim Lovell: Uh well, I'll tell ya, I remember this one time - I'm in a Banshee at night in combat conditions, so there's no running lights on the carrier. It was the Shrangri-La, and we were in the Sea of Japan and my radar had jammed, and my homing signal was gone... because somebody in Japan was actually using the same frequency. And so it was - it was leading me away from where I was supposed to be. And I'm lookin' down at a big, black ocean, so I flip on my map light, and then suddenly: zap. Everything shorts out right there in my cockpit. All my instruments are gone. My lights are gone. And I can't even tell now what my altitude is. I know I'm running out of fuel, so I'm thinking about ditching in the ocean. And I, I look down there, and then in the darkness there's this uh, there's this green trail. It's like a long carpet that's just laid out right beneath me. And it was the algae, right? It was that phosphorescent stuff that gets churned up in the wake of a big ship. And it was - it was - it was leading me home. You know? If my cockpit lights hadn't shorted out, there's no way I'd ever been able to see that. So uh, you, uh, never know... what... what events are to transpire to get you home.

The Two Towers:

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

The Inundation of the Spring

2008-05-08T11:08:00.004-06:00

THE INUNDATION of the Spring
Submerges every soul,
It sweeps the tenement away
But leaves the water whole.
In which the Soul, at first alarmed,
Seeks furtive for its shore,
But acclimated, gropes no more
For that Peninsular.
---Emily Dickinson

I might not really understand that poem, but yesterday was truly an inundated spring day. After working for almost eight hours scanning teacher/course evaluation forms, I really needed some exercise. Luckily I'm a member of the Coolest Ward Ever, and we had a hike planned to the Wind Caves up Logan Canyon just that very evening. So we went!

Now, if you're from around here at all, something might click into place at this point and you might ask, "But Beckie, how could you go hiking last night? Didn't it...rain last night?" To which I might reply, "Yes. But when has a little rain stopped a single's ward?" To which you might reply, "Dumb." But only if your name was Heidi Lamb.

Of all my roommates only Jenny came, the rest opting to stay clean and home. Yes, it was a little cloudy when we left, but hiking's always better when it's overcast. And the ward...well, it's only the first week of summer, but already this is looking to be my favorite summer ward EVER. So many people showed up, even with the threatening weather!

Anyway, so we carpooled up there and set off. I only brought a thin hoodie jacket, which I removed halfway up because the pace was brisk and it was quite warm. Then I put it back on at the top because the wind was brisk and the rain was quite cold. Within a space of three minutes it went from cool and clear to complete cloud surrounding us and hard, pelting rain.

The Wind Cave, by the way, was beautiful, though more likely formed from the receeding waters of Lake Bountiful than from wind itself, but hey, that's just what the sign said. It also told us to bring water bottles and wear sunscreen, and who ever liked that song anyway?

So we headed back down in the pouring rain. Jenny decided the mud made a "squooshing" sound. I asked her if squooshing was spelled with two 'o's or with one 'o' with an umlaut. Then we somehow started talking about zeugmas ("he ran track and for president") and sharing gross-out stories of dead and/or castrated animals - stories which I shall refrain from repeating here, or ever. It kept raining. We got wetter.

Well, you'll be happy to know I never slipped, nor did I see anyone else fall. We all made it down safely, although soaked to the bone from bukkits of rain. The weirdest was comparing the backs of our pant legs. Everyone was muddy but for some reason....mine were completely filthy. Soaking wet, and totally caked in dirt. It was awesome!

Bad news: for some dumb reason, I took my phone. One of the warning signs that you're overly cell phone dependent? Bringing it with you on a hike. You don't even get reception up there! But I had it, in my pocket the whole time. It, too, was wet, very wet. So if you know me and you're reading this and you haven't been able to reach me in some time...know that my phone is currently turned off and drying in a bag of rice. (My friend Lucas told me that's how to dry it out even faster...) I'll let you know if it works! If you don't hear from me in a few days, it probably didn't.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

2008-05-06T21:39:00.004-06:00

Music is my boyfriend
Music is my girlfriend
Music is my dead end
Music is my imaginary friend

You've probably heard that song. (Thanks, iPod commercials!) Except this time it's true. Music keeps you company when you need it. As Jimmy says, "I'm not alone 'cause the TV's on, yeah." When you're walking with your headphones, you're not walking by yourself. When you're sitting in your room, your speakers sit beside you. When you're driving, the radio's driving with you.

Music is my brother
Music is my great-grand-daughter
Music is my sister
Music is my favorite mistress

It says what I want to say when I can't say it. It reminds me of good times and it makes new times. I listen to it in my head even when my ears hear nothing.

Music is my beach house
Music is my hometown
Music is my king-sized bed
Music is where I meet with my friends

All that being said...let us not forget what Elder Russel M Nelson said on Sunday about the "power and protection provided by worthy music." Music has the power to facilitate spiritual nourishment, it has healing power, it can overcome language barriers.

And "Overindulging in loud music can make you spiritually deaf."

And "Don't degrade yourself. Listen to music worthy of you."

And "That which does not edify is not of God."

And

"Delete the rubbish from your minds and your iPods."

Ben Folds His Paper Hot-Dog Style

2008-04-27T23:17:00.011-06:00

So, here's the story. My roommate Heather had been planning for at least a month to go see Ben Folds in concert down in Salt Lake, and I was jealous. I love Ben Folds...he and I go way back. But I didn't know if my love was worth $22-40.

That is, until one of Heather's Salt Lake friends backed out on Monday, two days before the concert, and Heather asked me first if I wanted it. Gasp! But I also had a "portfolio conference" to be at that night, so I told her to ask other people first so I wouldn't have to make the decision ;). Unfortunately, none of the other people on her list could go either so...I decided, what the heck, I'll go too! And I got way excited.

Until the next day, when Heather texted me that her friend had been misinformed- they really didn't have an extra ticket. Well, you know, these things happen, and I understood, and now I didn't have to worry about getting in touch with my professor either. So I was fine.

Until the next day, when Thomas called me. I was just putting the finishing touches on my portfolio, minding my own business, while he'd been listening to the radio and calling it up... and WINNING TWO FREE TICKETS TO THE BEN FOLDS CONCERT! Lucky for me that I'm his favorite sibling! And lucky for me that I already had a ride! And lucky for me that I emailed my teacher to let her know we could meet up another day! It seemed things were finally looking up for ol' Beckie.

And then a lot of other stuff happened on the ride down and the ride back up, involving ten chicken nuggets, Montevideo Uruguay, a box of Krispy Kremes, and getting home at 2 AM in the rain. But what I really wanted to blog are these:

There they are! Ben, his drummer, and his guitarist.

And the following are "Movies" but let's just call them "Pictures" because the sound on them is...well, it isn't.

"Landed"

"Annie Waits"

"Still Fighting It"

"Lullabye"

So, the sound quality's pretty incredible - I mean, they were taken on cell phones! - but I'd definitely recommend the actual music. Ch-ch-check it out.

And the best part of it all was getting to go see an extremely talented performer and sing along with Thomas. Thanks, buddy! It was especially worth it because it was free!!

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

2008-04-11T12:50:00.002-06:00

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day.  Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel.  None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch.  And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones.  And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

-- Elizabeth Bishop

"I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget."
"I'm sorry, Dory, but I . . . do."
--Finding Nemo

HEART, we will forget him!
You and I, to-night!
You may forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.

When you have done, pray tell me,	5
That I my thoughts may dim;
Haste! lest while you're lagging,
I may remember him!

--Emily Dickinson

"I'm ready to get hurt again."
---Michael Scott, "The Office"

YOU left me, sweet, two legacies,—
A legacy of love
A Heavenly Father would content,
Had He the offer of;

You left me boundaries of pain	5
Capacious as the sea,
Between eternity and time,
Your consciousness and me.

--Emily Dickinson

"It"

2008-03-26T15:19:00.008-06:00

Sorry, Heather, you've tagged a slacker. It's been like a month since you told me I'm supposed to write 8 things about myself here and I'm just now getting around to it. I probably won't even pass it on after this. Fun game!

Oh, who am I kidding...I love to talk about myself (who doesn't!?) and this is a great excuse. Right then: If you really knew me you would know...

1. I'm very gullible. Though I'll pretend to talk back to you just to find loopholes in your own argument, I actually believe almost everything I hear. Ask my family if I once thought that Michael Crawford was dead. (I'm not entirely sure I even knew who that was at that time!) This especially applies to - yes, I'm about to reveal this - INFOMERCIALS. They just...work on me. All their little ploys and selling tactics sound so agreeable, then desirable, then necessary. My thoughts:

"What?? They're throwing in three quality cookbooks with the QuickChop?!"

"Wait...there's more: If I call within the next ten minutes, I can get TWO Amazing Rotisserie Chicken Grills for the price of one! It's a great gift idea!"

Usually after the program ends, I'm fine and the marketing scheme ceases its gruesome power over me. Though I have convinced my mom to buy me several amazing gadgets As Seen On TV. Our Magic Bullet Blender and FoodSavers are both safely broken on the storage shelf in our basement.

2. Bandwagons: I jump on them. Well, ok, at the beginning. Once they start to fill up, it gets really crowded and many times I'm shoved over to the side so I just jump off. There are a lot of things that sometimes I just like because they're popular - American Idol, In 'n' Out, Facebook...

Speaking of jumping, I also enjoy following various TV shows just until they "jump the shark."

3. I think movie spoofs are the greatest things ever.

4. Cats rule, dogs drool. Cats are much cuter, softer, cuddlier, and cleaner. Dogs...I enjoy like grandchildren: fun to play with, fine at other people's houses, but not for me to take home.

And I used to have an imaginary pet white Siberian tiger.

5. I want to change the world. No, seriously, I do! (I'm a closet idealist.) I want to teach kids to love writing, I want to read books to them that make them as excited as I was when I read them the first time, I want to get them as into history as Mr Felt did for us in 10th and 12th grade. Good teachers are heroes and heroines! What you learn in school can affect you for the rest of your life! Children are the future!!

6. I have a high tolerance for repetition. Conversation-wise, sometimes it's even necessary; to get me to really understand something, I may need to hear you say it over and over and over. I can re-watch movies - good ones, anyway - endlessly, and it's like starting with a blank slate. I love to go back and re-read my favorite books. Even in music: I can handle those almost-annoying techno or dream-mo songs that get like 4 minutes in and haven't started yet, or live jam-sessions that seem to go over the same part again and again. New things are great, but I can handle repetitiveness. (Guess it's a good thing Ima be a teacher then, eh?)

7. I love correcting others' grammar, but not necessarily speaking correctly myself. It's way fun being the annoying Simpson's "Linguo" robot, while at the same time purporting the idea that language changes, evolves, and never has one true, "right" answer. Ha. The privileges of an English major!

8. I haven't thought that far ahead.

Ok... Now that it's come down to it, perhaps I do wish to send the tag along.... Alan, you're it.

Everyone else, get a blog already.

SCED: Where Brevity Dies and Education Languishes

2008-03-24T11:01:00.007-06:00

"Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the fool their lack of understanding. " - Ambrose Bierce

The above: a trait readily applicable to and found in significant amounts in my university's Secondary Education program, in which I am currently enrolled. Also known as: A waste of time and good money. Sure, I know they mean well, and there really are many good teachers working hard for the preparation of us preservice teachers. But as a whole...the program itself is tedious, repetitive, and incredibly dull.

Take today for instance: carefully extracting myself from the comfort of my warm bed, hauling up to campus, entering the classroom...and our teacher, alas, is not there. Of course, that's not a big surprise, since in this course, our teacher is literally never there - it's a Distance Education class, which meets here in Logan but the professor lives and broadcasts from Vernal. What's also not a big surprise, though, is that she's not even broadcasting today. Even the TA doesn't know why, acts nonchalant, and informs us we are to present our "problem-solving activity ideas" for class today and then we're free to leave. We look at each other in disbelief but act it out anyway, "presenting" what we'd written in five minutes last class. (Incidentally, our last class was the previous Wednesday, since we've already been informed that class is permanently canceled every Friday for the rest of the semester.) There aren't that many ideas to present - only half the class even bothers to show up anymore... Because when we do have class, it's usually to listen to lectures about how lectures shouldn't be used in classrooms anymore, in favor of more active, group-oriented, hands-on activities. Not even the irony can keep me awake anymore!

Were this kind of situation restricted to one or two classes, I suppose it would be bearable. But, ever since I finished the English program to move over to the Education one, the quality of classes, professors, coursework, and education has decreased significantly. Instead of analyzing literature or creating and comparing essays, or studying history and interpreting facts, classroom discussions are little more than opinion-sharing, not unlike how I might envision a group counseling session. We're all a little long-winded and love the sound of our own voice. And it's not that I don't care about everyone's experiences.

It just seems we're so intent on talking about education that we don't really get...educated.

It's been a long while since I really felt challenged in these classes. This doesn't mean that I'm overly smart; on the contrary, I feel like many other students are more prepared than I, which makes it that much more pathetic that we're not being pushed to our full potential. One of my teachers doesn't even give deadlines - she just lets us turn it in whenever we'd like, cancels class all the time, etc. Not that I mind her cancelling class - without fail, every time I'm there I ask myself why I even bothered to show up. So oppressively dull....

Yet in a way, it makes me want even more to become a teacher. Sometimes learning from bad examples motivates you all the more strongly.

Contrary to Popular Opinion...

2008-02-29T12:20:00.003-07:00

...ESL does not simply mean English as a Second Language.

It also stands for Lynn Truss's classic book about the power of punctuation. I've heard this one before, but let's review for nostalgia's sake:

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
So punctuation really does matter, even if it is only occasionally a matter of life and death.

I have, of course, my opinion about how far to the "grammar police" spectrum we should go, but she makes a valid point.

http://eatsshootsandleaves.com/esl.html

Ta,
Beckie

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey...should've been on there, too

2008-02-18T20:03:00.002-07:00

Dear Internet,

I just spent the last 79:59 minutes listening to a mix CD I made for my sister years ago. I called it "inspiration" because music is so.... imploring. It's pretty incredible. Thought I'd share it with you.

Love,
Beckie

1- Believe by Yellowcard
"Everything is gonna be alright, be strong, believe!"
2- Hold On by Good Charlotte
"If you feel like letting go, hold on. It gets better than you know."
3- The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
"It just takes some time, little girl...everything will be alright."
4- My Reply by Ataris
"If you just hold on for one more second, just hold one to what you are..."
5- Don't Give Up by Eagle-Eye Cherry
"Never give up, we won't stop giving all we got..."
6- Don't Let Go by Weezer
"Whooaa...Don't let go."
7- For Nancy by Pete Yorn
"Convince yourself that everything is alright...'cuz it already is!"
8- Dare You To Move by Switchfoot
"Lift yourself, lift yourself up off the floor!"
9- Walk On (nigel godrich remix) by U2
"If your glass heart should crack, and for a second you look back, no... be strong!"
10- Move On Up by Curtis Mayfield
"Your folks might understand you, by and by...just move on up, follow your dreaming..."
11- With A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles
"Are you sad cause you're on your own? No, I get by..."
12- Feelin' Fine by Three Brave Woodsman
"When I step outside the world becomes my home..."
13- Shine by Collective Soul
"Will love be there? Heaven let your light shine down."
14- Still Fighting It by Ben Folds
"Everybody knows it sucks to grow up. But everybody does."
15- Everyday by Dave Matthews
"Pick me up, love, from the bottom, up on to the top, love, everyday."
16- Getting Better by The Beatles
"I used to get mad at my school. Now I can't complain..."
17- Only If... by Enya
"When there's a shadow, you reach for the sun."
18- Shine by Tracy Bonham
"You must not forget how much light you bring..."
19- Everything's Not Lost by Coldplay

"Blogging is like Facebook, except real."

2008-02-17T17:11:00.002-07:00

Someone told that to me today, so I thought I'd attempt a jaunt from the warm confines of Facebookland into "reality."

Brrr. It's cold out here.

Seems the world of blogs is much more introspective and a lot less gossipy. And you end up with fewer poke-bruises.

You know, sometimes I'd love to quit Facebook all together, but besides the fact that it's still apparently impossible to do, I just don't have the heart. Pity stays my hand. (Or is it addiction? I hear they want to eat our babies!)

My newest resolution? Give up Facebook for Lent. Incidentally, I'm giving up Lent as well. So let's just call it a Facebook Fast for the next two weeks. With my blog as witness, I shall not log in again until, at least, March 2. Savvy? Savvy.

You better keep me to it.

Instructional Architect

2007-12-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

You know, I'd never heard of this program before this class. But now I have. And I like it. Here's our first try on this teaching tool known as IA:

http://ia.usu.edu/viewproject.php?project=ia:5345

Explanation

2007-11-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

I was thinking that our little horror film needed an explanation. It came as an assignment in class: Get a partner, take a camera, and go film something, hopefully related to your subject area. You have a half-hour. Go.

So, being English majors, my partner and I headed towards the library. And we . . . filmed stuff. It was only later, in "post," that we decided what it was going to be about. Once we stuck those shaky and old-timey filters on the library shot, we realized it was a scary movie. So we edited the rest to be such.

It started out a "how-to" movie for using the library, and ended up . . . very entertaining.

Well, we laughed a lot as we were making it, anyway. And in the end, isn't that what matters?

The Joy of Making Movies

2007-11-02T12:01:00.000-06:00

The movie we made for class! It's not much, but it's ours.

Oh, and by the way, we got an A.

INST 3500 Course Assignment

2007-10-27T13:28:00.000-06:00

First off, here's a nice background for a lesson on figurative language--and by background, I literally mean background.

And as for this course, I’m a huge fan. I’m a big supporter of the “learning by doing” method, especially when it comes to technology. The way the class is set up allows for a lot of hands on, creative work that we can individually adapt to our content areas. Basically, I feel like I get to do my own work while learning a lot of new programs and operating systems. The one improvement I suggest would be to have it a little more clearly stated in class what we are required to do—exactly what assignments are due when, etc., especially because it appears the original expectations have changed. This could be fixed by a single clear explanation in class. On the whole, I am enjoying and benefiting greatly from this course!

Using Open Source Theory in the Classroom

2007-09-27T14:02:00.000-06:00

Applying a Theory of Technology in an English Classroom

1st:
The idea is to get students to understand the theory behind the technology they use daily.
- Identify the technology they use (i.e. message boards, chat, text messaging, or for our purposes, open source culture)
- Explain what it technically is (Open Source = a set of principles and practices that promote access to the design and production of goods and knowledge)
- Explain what it does, and why it works (Open Source theory = the creative practice of appropriation and free sharing of found and created content)

2nd:
Once they understand the concept or theory behind it, help students learn to apply it to the course content.
- If Open Source is to open up your work to the public to work together for a better product, then Open Source poetry is to open up your work to the public to work together for a better product.
- Example: http://opensourcepoetry.org

RULES
Of course, there must be guidelines and restrictions. This is school, after all.

Open Source Classroom Rules

Rule 1: You are free to use and combine your work to create something new. The argument is that two heads are better than one, that someone else's idea may have some flaws in it that you can improve upon and keep it going.
Rule 2: You still can't violate copyright. This is a new movement, so any work or works that were created before or without this or don't specifically claim otherwise ARE copyrighted.
Rule 3: When you make someone else's work yours, it doesn't stay yours. You have to "pay it forward." That is, you can't take something for free then sell it for money. You must leave it open to be changed again by someone else.
Rule 4: In my classroom, the Open Source rule would apply only some of the time. When it is decided in class that the assignment will be open source, feel free to use anything that is already free. But when it comes to many assignments (certain essays, tests, etc) I need to evaluate YOUR personal work and you MAY NOT appropriate, include, use, or copy anyone else's. (Hopefully this would rule out essay-buying or internet copying)

Open Source in Other Content Areas

2007-09-27T10:11:00.000-06:00

L.H.O.O.Q. by Marcel Duchamp

Open Source art?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appropriation_%28art%29

2007-09-21T11:54:00.000-06:00

This is for our class project today. I took this right on campus.
ENGLISH CLASS PROMPT: Describe how your life is like a greenhouse.

How Things Explode

2007-09-19T18:42:00.000-06:00

You make something small, then put it on Youtube and it explodes. That's what happened to an assistant professor at Kansas State University who made this really cool video explaining "Web 2.0", Youtubed it and BLAM, it's been seen by ... well, by a lot of people. It's quite cool. Check it out for yourself.

I especially like when it says that HOW we use the machine begins to teach the machine how we want it to work.

Also, read the news article that was written about him last february. Thanks, Thomas!

See, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

2007-09-17T22:26:00.000-06:00

Steal This Poem

Open Source Poetry

2007-09-14T12:07:00.001-06:00

Wow! I just Googled that again and what did I find but yet another intriguing debate on the subject. Well, since their conversation wasn't technically copyrighted either... I'll take the liberty of reprinting some of their opinions here:

Gurdit: "I like the idea of open source. I also make it a point to link back or mention every website/software/person whose help I have used on my website/other. I wouldn’t mind people copying portions/entire texts of my poetry/blog posts, as long as they have the decency not to claim it to be their own entirely, and perhaps to link back."

Slices: "True poetry lies beyond words, and words are public, anyway. Which goes to say… I don’t think you can really *steal* someone’s poetry, just the words - and copying those makes you a lousy poet in any terms…"

And I really enjoyed this one--

Harvey A. Ramer: "I draw everyone’s attention to the word “source” in the phrase “open source.” Hmmm. What is the “source” of poetry?

There’s a certain sense in which any true poet or gifted author is happy to share the source of their inspiration and working methods with anyone who wants to follow in their footsteps … that’s what I think pertains to the discussion of open source poetry.

Anyone engaged in a creative endeavor is entitled to payment for their work … it just so happens that with software, creating an open source code base and giving it away has financial rewards that are often commensurate with the risks. If there was no financial reward or potential to be had from open source collaboration, no business would undertake it. Personal and organizational partnerships would still form.

I said all that to say this: Poetry has no clear code base on which a poet can build economic value by giving it away. Like music, all the poet gains from giving it away is exposure for public events.

The world feels they are entitled to free creative works. They (we) are not!

Wow! Why did I type all this? :)"

Why? Because you just practiced what you preach. Wasn't this neat little comment a "creative endeavor"? And you just posted it without idea of payment of any kind. This is a free creative work. Maybe we weren't entitled to hearing it, but we did, and we enjoyed it. Does everything need to be motivated by money???

How To Take Better Pictures

2007-09-14T11:47:00.000-06:00

I must confess... My dad's owned a book--complete with helpful instructional video--with this title for years, but I've never even looked at it. Well, today is the day... It's much easier to learn things online, anyway: the interactivity can't be beat.

http://www.kodak.com/eknec/PageQuerier.jhtml?pq-path=10032&pq-locale=en_US

My only other confession is that lots of these "bad example" photos could've been taken from my own picture library. Well, now I know; things can only get better. (Whoa, whoa, whoa...)

And play around with the "online digital camera" they have. Way too fun!

Homework!

2007-09-14T11:18:00.000-06:00

3rd Handout
"A picture is worth a thousand words"

How many times have we heard that? But "chliche" never really ruled out "truth." Students can always think of writing ideas from paintings. I especially love impressionistic works. Doesn't a rainy afternoon in France make you want to sip a hot drink and write a poem?

How the Web works:

Check out the following website:
http://www.learnthenet.com/english/section/www.html

Go to “The Animated Internet: How the Web Works.” Follow the steps to the end.

Answer the following questions on your blog:

1. What is a URL? What do different parts of a URL mean?
Uniform resource locator

2. What is a server?
Where files are located and downloaded from onto your computer

3. What is a Web browser?
Program that assembles the web page onto your the screen

4. How does the Web work?
Information stored on servers is shared (networked, or webbed) onto your personal computer

Everything I've ever known to be true is a lie!

2007-09-05T15:33:00.000-06:00

I use that quote all the time ("Moses" says it in the animated film Prince of Egypt) because it seems to apply to life all the time: we learn something, then realize that what we once thought were truths were actually not.

In my reading I'm finding that life, and writing, and literature, constantly ask us to relearn and unlearn what we've learned before.

When we learn something new -- and I mean really learn it, not just hear about it, but think it through and apply it to ourselves -- it changes how we think, how we interpret what we read, and what and how we write.

So in a way, you might say that whatever we learn affects and influences what we produce, especially our writing.

For example: I heard that Prince of Egypt quote and adapted and used it for my own writing. That makes it as much a part of this blog as it is of that movie. Did I steal that Prince of Egypt quote? Should I have to pay for the right to use it? Or is it, now that I've used it, technically mine as well? Must I first change part of it to make it truly mine? Or is the change of context alone enough?

This is the kind of thing open source brings to the table. What are your opinions on the subject? What would you change from what I've said? What might you add?

P.S. Here's what made me think of the quote in the first place (more on that later)

Lots of Links. Check 'em out. Join the discussion.

2007-09-01T21:02:00.000-06:00

Open Source Poetry
http://osp.bbkstudio.com/

An Opinion on the Subject

Can you own a word?
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/04/02/business/olympics.php

Maybe everything should be free.
http://creativecommons.org/

I'd never even heard of copyleft before this:
http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/why-copyleft.html

A Quotation

2007-08-31T12:04:00.001-06:00

Oscar Wilde: "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

Oh, the irony.

INST 3500

2007-08-31T11:28:00.001-06:00

Hey, it's our class.
http://inst3500.pbwiki.com/