Last week on Facebook, about ten different Mom Blog posts were making the rounds. All with their own unique message by the moms, of the moms, and for the moms of the First World. I will now throw them at you:
First this:
"What We Mean When We Say We Need A Break"
- Now keep in mind, it IS "Huffington Post" so we need not take it too seriously. I do appreciate the sentiment - it's nice to specify the difference between "vacation" as in a big family trip, or even "escape from mom-life," and the kind of break she's talking about here. I like the clarification that moms tend to be so involved in service that they lose themselves. What the author might be missing is that, with the perspective of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, losing yourself IS finding yourself. Which is why we do it. But of course I understand the need to slip away for a moment to read, go for a walk, or do something you love, and RECHARGE for more service.
- On another note, Aaron did not entirely appreciate what the author had to say about the role of fathers. "Moms need breaks but Dads don't?" It literally says, "When you're a father, caring for your kids doesn't count as work." It's something you promised to do, etc.... I agree that this paragraph was a little unfair: basically everything she said telling Dads to do their duty applies to Moms, too. But sometimes taking care of kids IS work, no matter if it's Mom or Dad doing it.
On a similar vein, This about not making moms feel guilty for taking a few moments to themselves:
"In Defense of the iPhone Mom"
- Apparently this blogger saw a FB post circulating with something like, "Dear iPhone Moms, You are missing out on your beautiful kids! They're on the monkey bars calling your name but your face is buried in your phone! Stop texting and enjoy their magical moments!" And this really bugged her because - guess what. That mom has probably had a day - or string of days - of magical moments. She's been at home playing with and laughing with and watching her kids forever. You're just seeing her at a park, where apparently she's taking a break to connect with her "co-workers" (other moms) through Facebook or Pinterest or somewhich. Don't judge! is the message. It's OK to take a break!
- The thing with blogs is, everyone is responding to something someone else said. What this blogger said needed to be said. But I think what the FB post said also needed to be said. Maybe they don't need to both be said to the same person at the same time though.
- But yeah, just say no to Mom Guilt Trips. Which brings us to:
This one, which counsels us not to put ourselves down while we compliment other moms:
"Battle of the Moms"
- "That's so great that you can do that! I really suck at doing that." OK, I admit, I've said it. It's sometimes hard to stop yourself. But I think that besides being unhealthy and making unfair comparisons, it's also quite a selfish way of talking. "Hey, you said this about you? I tell you that same thing but how it applies to me! Let's bring the conversation back to ME! MEEEEEE!!!" And Brian Regan's "Me Monster" has arrived.
- What's a better way to respond? When someone talks about a quilt they just made, I should just say the first half of my automatic comment and then shut my mouth. "That's so great that you can do that!" Because it's not about me, it's about her skill and accomplishment. Boo yah.
- And yes - you're just being a bully to yourself to constantly think and say negative things about who you are and what you can do. Maybe I can think, "I want to be able to do that someday. I'm going to work on that."
A post that reassures you are not a terrible parent, and a reminder of what not to say:
"To Parents of Small Children"
- This one is actually written by a dad, not a mom, but the same advice applies: Don't guilt parents. Including yourselves.
- Also, this guy is a pastor, and I like the service perspective that gives him: look for ways to help those tired parents you see all around you. Bring them dinner or take their kids for a couple hours.
- And then this line: "One of the reasons we are so exhausted is that we are oversaturated with information about the kind of parents we should be." So you can thank this post for my contribution there. Oh, and this next one:
This must be one of the things he's talking about, telling us what kind of parents we should be. But since I'd never thought about it, to me at least it was interesting:
- Again, take it with a helping of salt - the web magazine is called "PopSugar" - but this author says that if your kid is playing with a toy, and another kid walks up and wants to take it, you are under no obligation to say, "Hey son, give him that toy, it's called sharing." Because, she says, actually that creates entitlement culture. You, other kid! You don't deserve a toy just because you want it! Someone else is using it, so wait your turn. Or, That's not even your toy, it's his, so let him play with it and let's play with something else.
- I guess since James is still young I hadn't even thought about what my potential sharing "policy" would be. This seems fine. Although I would like to teach my kids that giving away your toy is a NICE thing to do, even if it's not the REQUIRED or even EXPECTED thing.
Finally, a shout out to a new blog that I just stumbled upon, and have subsequently spent way too much time on. But I'll just link to one of her posts:
- You heard about the "Elf on a shelf" thing, right? Never did that when I was little, but apparently it's a thing now. So did you know that going on a leprechaun hunt for St Patrick's Day, is also a thing now?? I mean apparently you have your kids hunt for gold coins and crap. Whaaa? I agree with her POV: "People. St. Patrick’s Day is supposed to be a “phone-it-in” holiday. Yes, I’ve turned into a bit of a grinch, but SERIOUSLY WITH THE HOLIDAY OVERKILL."
- Now, I'm still getting off this scott-free because my baby is only 10 MONTHS OLD so doesn't need any holiday celebrations, really. He has no idea what is going on. We could give him pink baby food on Valentine's, or dress him in green on St Patrick's Day, or plastic eggshells on Easter, and he will probably still chew on his own sock instead.
- BUT STILL. It does seem like a bit much for elementary-aged-kids' moms. On the other hand, I don't want to judge them for going all-out anymore than I want them to judge me for taking a minimalist approach. So I guess, if no one is getting hurt, and nothing is going against Gospel truths, and they're not making themselves or others feel guilty for not swimming as deeply in holiday waters as others....then to each her own.
So there you have it: bunch o'blogs for thought. A little too much? Probably. Enjoy!
