Mother's Day: Everything We Wanted To Say About It

We always think to ourselves after church, "Well, selves, if it were us giving the talks, this is how we would have said it. And THIS is what we wanted to say about it."

Today, we got to say it.

Aaron and I were asked to speak in sacrament meeting today, Mother's Day. I kinda psyched myself out about it, going online and reading all the things that people say they don't want to hear at church on Mother's Day. Oh man, do they have stuff to say about it. In fact, there are people that don't even go to church today because of it!? So then I started to get worried that I would say alienating things and I would be the reason someone wouldn't come to church.

Past Beckie was silly to worry. Present Beckie knows better.

I ended up realizing that people choose to be offended. If they are looking for a reason to feel bad on Mother's Day, they'll probably find it. As for me and my talk, I said everything I wanted to say about it.

Oh, and Aaron talked about love, and he did a really, really good job explaining what it is. I'll let him go first, because he did so in church.

**** Aaron's Talk ****

One interesting thing about my workplace is that every week I have a bible study with some of my Christian colleagues. Lately we have been studying the attributes of god and last week we studied Love.  We talked about how a lot of transgression is supported on the premise that it is about love. That somehow, the involvement a good thing, such as love, justifies a bad thing, such as fornication.  I thought about this since and first decided that god supports love most of the time, but reserves the right to not support it some distinct situations.  As this didn’t make sense to me I continued to think about it and I remembered the scripture in 1 John that states “God is love”. How could he not support love, even in certain situations if he is love? But then is clicked for me, that god is never in opposition to love, but that we as a society simply misunderstand what love is.  And love, is god. It follows that love is properly defined by the eternal characteristics of god and his actions among the children of men, as stated in the scriptures.  We should understand that all of his teachings, all of his blessings, and even all of his punishments demonstrate what love is. All of his commandments are love, while all sins are contrary to the nature of love, because they are contrary to the nature of God.

In April’s General Conference Thomas S Monson said that love was manifest by kindness, patience, selflessness, understanding and forgiveness.  He told a story about two seamstresses who worked at a mill where they were paid based on the number of items they sewed each day. One named Arlene was struggling to complete a one of the items. The seamstress who sat across from her named Bernice stopped her own sewing to give Arlene instruction until she was able to properly complete the item. Bernice had sacrificed the opportunity to complete more items and as a result made less money then she would have if she didn't help Arlene. Bernice and Arlene became lifelong friends because of this act of love.

So how do we obtain love if it is not something that simply happens to us? In Moroni 7:48, it says that we should “pray unto the father with all the energy of heart that we may be filled with this love”. We show God that we are ready for this gift by practicing the actions of love on those around us.  These include service, compassion, forgiveness, and developing empathy. Is it any wonder that missionaries come home with love for the people of their areas?  It is not something the people themselves caused the missionary to gain, but rather something the missionary was given having spent two years performing the actions of love among the people.

So I know what you’re thinking. Today is mother’s day, and he hasn’t said the word mom once. Well, I just did.  Also, in order to practice love, we need to learn what love is, which we can do by observing good examples of love, like mothers. An analysis done on the proclamation to the family states the following: “A mother’s love awakens in young children a memory of life, love, and goodness they experienced in the pre-mortal existence from their heavenly parents. This awakening to goodness and hope prepares the new soul to recognize the moral law later in life because these things will be beloved.” I am thankful for all the examples I have had from my mother of love. In first John 4:18 it reads, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.” I remember many times when I was afraid growing up, after falling off my bike, or being nervous about something, or cracking my head open after sleepwalking out of my minivan (true story!) and my mother would always hug me, and tell me why things were going to be alright, and that love would make my fear go away.

 In addition to the loving examples of our parents our heavenly father gave us a perfect of example of love in our savior Jesus Christ. John 3:16 ¶For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” The just punishment for any sin is death, but through the sacrifice of his son, god has given us life, the greatest gift of all. Christ’s atonement also demonstrates his own, perfect love for us. The apostle John said “Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends”. But one reason the Atonement is so amazing to me, is because he did not just die for his friends, but for his enemies as well.  He gave his life and his love to the very people who condemned him to die.  He knew as he was being scourged, and heckled and spat upon, that he was going to die for those men that spat on him. He loved them so much he asked god to forgive them, for they knew not what they did. 

This is why the love of god is so incomprehensible, because I do not think almost any man would give his life for their enemy. I thought about it, and I wouldn't. I could come up with reasons to die for members of my family, but faced with the decision to step in for a criminal on death row, I wouldn't even consider it. I am so thankful that Christ did, and that we are all equal to him in our qualification to be saved. The apostle Paul said “I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Truly nothing, whether it be circumstance or sin will change the love of god and Christ for us.  I know that because of this love repentance is possible, that we can gain love for our neighbors, and even our enemies.  I know that through faith in the Savior's Atonement we can access this love and let it comfort, purify and sanctify us.

**** Beckie's Talk ****

When I was in college I worked at the Creamies factory in Logan, Utah. My boss also owned an ice cream shop called Charlie's. He asked me to make a CD to put in the jukebox there, which I jumped at the chance to do. My roommates and I loved to go get some ice cream and listen to my songs. One day, though, a big group of kids came in and went to the jukebox. When someone picked a song from MY mix, everyone started singing along, and the entire creamery was having a blast. Looking around, I realized what had occurred. I told my friends, "Guys...I created this moment." And it felt GOOD.

Creativity:  We are all creators. Every mother is one because life was somehow created.
Mothers are partners with God in creating LIFE. But they also create much more than that. My mom is creative in how she approaches people. She can find a way to explain a concept by being creative in how she presents it. She’s a very creative lesson planner, she always thinks of something new.

When I create something, I feel good pride, I feel powerful, influential. I feel satisfaction.
We create our own lives each day.

Like God, when we create things we do it spiritually before we create them physically.

Moses 3:4 And now, behold, I say unto you, that these are the generations of the heaven and of the earth, when they were created, in the day that I, the Lord God, made the heaven and the earth,

 5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew. For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth. 

He made our spirits before he made our bodies. He made the earth spiritually before he created it actually. We create:

• Dinner – first in a recipe, then mix the ingredients
• Sewing – first with a pattern, then with fabric
• Gardening – first by planting a seed, then it actually grows
• Music – we hear a song in our head before we play it and write it down

When we create something in our minds, spiritually, we are seeing the potential of it before it’s even created. THIS IS JUST WHAT GOD DOES. God created us, and he is also continually creating more things IN us.

Last conference we had a Women’s meeting. Pres Eyring spoke. He said this:

Heavenly Father … is pleased every time you try to choose the right. He sees not only what you are but also what you may become. 

You may have had an earthly parent who thought that you could be better than you thought you could be. I had such a mother.
What I didn’t know when I was young was that my Heavenly Father, your Heavenly Father, sees greater potential in His children than we or even our earthly mothers see in us. And whenever you move upward on that path toward your potential, it brings Him happiness. And you can feel His approval.
He sees that glorious potential in all of His daughters, wherever they are.

We are actually being God-like when we help creating something in someone else, because that is what He does for us. It is a God-like trait, and it is also a mothering trait.

My mission president’s wife had this trait. After zone conferences both the President and his wife would shake every missionary’s hand as we left. In her pocket she always kept a few tiny pieces of paper. She would look us in the eye and, using her divine power of discernment, if she saw the need she would slip a paper in any missionary’s hand that said, “You are better than you think you are.” She could see our potential. She was like a loving, encouraging mother, who is also like our loving, encouraging Heavenly Parents. She helped create in me feelings of courage and strength to continue forward.

President Uchtdorf gave an awesome talk on on creating:

The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.

Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty…

You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”

If that is how you feel, think again.   Remember that you are spirit daughters [and sons] of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.

But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. ⁴ Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.

If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.

You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. ⁵ The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.

What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.

If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.

A friend of mine that I grew up with found out after being married for a year that they could not create their own children. She was devastated. They are now working with all their hearts on adoption. I know that even though her motherly characteristics don’t include actually birthing a child, she is being motherly, she is being godlike, in whatever she chooses to create – whenever she chooses to bring into existence something that did not exist before – whenever she can look at something and see it’s potential of being something greater. 

She, and so many other wonderful women I know, have taught me that being motherly, being God-like, CREATING, is not limited to giving birth. All women have the potential to be creators. And that unites us, instead of dividing us.

Eyring again:

He sees that glorious potential in all of His daughters, wherever they are. Now, that puts a great responsibility on each of you. He expects you to treat every person you meet as a child of God. That is the reason He commands us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves and to forgive them. Your feelings of kindness and forgiveness toward others come as your divine inheritance from Him as His daughter. Each person you meet is His loved spiritual child.

As you feel of that great sisterhood, what we thought divides us falls away. For instance, younger and older sisters share their feelings with the expectation of being understood and accepted. You are more alike as daughters of God than you are different.

He’s saying that instead of divisiveness, we need unity. Let’s not participate in “mommy wars” or “mommy bashing” or even comparing ourselves to other women, moms or non-moms. This applies to “every Latter-Day Saint who feels they somehow do not fit within the ideal family structure that our church culture focuses on, who continually struggle to define their lives according to that framework, and may even think that their offerings before the Lord are somehow less, because they don’t “fit the bill” for membership in a particular club.  

The Lord does not have clubs in this manner. The blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ are available for anyone who has the desire, and is willing, to follow Him.” [Thanks for the words, blogger!] 

I know that because it says in 2 Nephi 26:33 and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.

Mary Ellen Smoot in an April 2000 general conference talk said this about CREATING: 

We each have to say to ourselves, What will I create of my life? My time? My future?

First, go where the Spirit directs.
Second, don’t be paralyzed from fear of making mistakes. …The time for procrastination is over. Begin! Don’t be afraid. Do the best you can. Of course you will make mistakes. Everyone does. Learn from them and move forward.
Third, support others along the way. Every person on this earth is unique. We all have varied interests, abilities, and skills. We are each at different levels physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Finally, rejoice. Creation isn’t drudgery. Creation flows from love. When we do what we love, we rejoice along the way. If you are unhappy, if you are feeling weary, troubled, or disillusioned, may I ask you to try something? Instead of dwelling on your troubles, focus instead on creating something remarkable, something of eternal significance. Nurture a testimony, strengthen a relationship, write a family history, go to the temple, serve.

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother.  

Elder Russell M. Ballard said the same thing when he said, ("Daughters of God," General Conference April 2008): 

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. …. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

Finally - I will share one of my favorite scriptures on mothers, which also happens to be about Jesus Christ.  It's in Isaiah49:

13 ¶^aSing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into ^bsinging, O mountains: for the Lord hath ^ccomforted his people, and will have ^dmercy upon his ^eafflicted.

 14 But Zion said, The Lord hath ^aforsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me.

 15 Can a ^awoman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?

I remember being in YW and reading this scripture and thinking, Ha, I know what he’s saying here: Moms never forget! I had a mom that loved me. She is to this day the best person I know at showing compassion. When you’re sick all you want is someone to say, “Oh, pobrecita, mijita linda!” and rub your back or bring you juice. I knew my mom would never forget me, her child, would never not have compassion on the sons and daughters of her womb. So I, sitting in my YW class, thought I knew what that scripture was saying: Can a woman forget her child? No! And that’s how God is.

Then the scripture surprised me:

15 Can a ^awoman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not ^bforget thee.

 16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

 

No, the Lord said. Moms MAY forget. And as I’ve grown I’ve of course learned that yes, there are moms that can forget their children. They can forget how to love, they can neglect, they can harm, they can leave. I’ve experienced loss and pain and suffering from other mortal humans myself. But now I understand better the point the Lord was making here: “They may forget, but I will not forget thee. My kindness shall not depart from thee.” He can’t forget us, because he has graven us upon the palms of his hands.

I may have distanced myself from my Heavenly Father at times, but he has never pulled himself away from me. He is continually watching over me, gathering me in, covering me, protecting me, as a loving mother would.

Today, yes, tell your moms thank you and I love you. But even as important as that is, it’s more important to tell the Lord thank you and I love you. Even though my mom has given me so much, I know my Savior has given me so, so much more. I love Him, I am grateful to Him and for Him, and I know with all my soul that He lives today.