What's up with KPOP?

Now that PSY's Gangnam Style has hit number one on iTunes and his video below has been viewed 281 million times, I would like to announce, like any self respecting Cake fan would (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYSesXsN-ZM 0:47), that I heard it first.

I realize that in claiming this, I may have just gained a permanent label as a hipster.  Let me dispel your judgments by reminding everyone that I don't like Apple, Iron and Wine, or beanies. Glad I cleared that up.

The main point of me telling you this is not to convince you that I am cooler than you (if you come to that conclusion on your own though, I approve), but rather to explain my magical journey into the world of KPOP.

This journey began in the summer of '09.  Having been passed over for all the internships I applied to the spring prior, I was not looking at a very eventful summer.  My brother Paul heard of my conundrum and suggested that I spend the summer teaching English in Taiwan and studying Mandarin, so I did.  While there, I made some friends in a who were in a similar situation to my own (young, single, male).  There are only a couple of reasons a guy like me is in Taiwan. 

1. Didn't get an internship and wants to learn Chinese

2. A particular attraction to Asian females.

I would say the vast majority are there for the second reason.  One of these friends I made who was openly of the second group I mentioned, introduced me to KPOP with The Wonder Girls' video Tell Me. His favorite is the rapper girl.

Not terribly impressed (and slightly disturbed by the wonder woman outfit), I continued to live my normal life and returned from Taiwan.  At the time, my nephew Thomas (2 years old) was going through a robot phase.  My mother found him this dancing robot video , which he latched onto and watched on repeat for hours.

There they were again, The Wonder Girls, with robots dancing to their song.  I concluded that any group with the endorsement of robots must be "a thing." I watched the music video and really liked it. Just singing and dancing. I also enjoyed the song.

It was catchy, upbeat, and I couldn't understand the lyrics.  If I don't understand the lyrics, I don't know if they are simplistic or poorly written, which is all to often the case with American pop songs. I liked that these girls were not nasty and gross like The Pussycat Dolls or The Spice Girls.  They were reminiscent of girl groups from the 60's, a time when you were allowed to wear clothing when you sang.

So I searched Youtube for KPOP, to hopefully find more music like what I had heard.  The top search result was Gee by Girls Generation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ).  I find this very appropriate because by watching this video, you will find out everything you need to know about KPOP.

For first time KPOP viewers, this video is probably a lot to take in.  The first question you probably have is "Were those dancing robots as well?" The answer is yes and no.  They are technically humans like you or me.  The reason even the smallest bit of feminism inside of you is screaming "No! Something was wrong with that!" is because a substantial percentage of all of these girls is plastic (plastic surgeonized).  I like to think the music video itself is aware of this though, starting them all as mannequins who come to life.  Plastic surgery is very common in Korea. One out of five woman have undergone plastic surgery and 1/3 of woman and men say that they would like to have plastic surgery.  So the first thing that we learned from this video is that Korean pop stars are fake. 

The second theme we can draw from this video is the infantilization of woman.  They are so beside themselves over this store attendant guy, frowning and pouting like babies because they will never get to be with him, what with the whole "being mannequins" and everything.

The third is dance.  All KPOP songs (ballads excluded) require a dance.  This is usually such a big part of the video, that there is a separate music video dedicated entirely to the dance. Gee has two.

This video solidified my new entry into KPOP fandom. No, not because I'm a chauvinist, but because I really like the production quality.  Obviously, a whole lot of effort went into this video.  It is visually stunning-the colors, the set, the effects, the dance.  And the song is great. Like many modern KPOP songs (including the one below) it is driven by a bass heavy electronic rhythm. 

Once again, I don't approve of the two inch shorts or pillow fights, but this is just a great song.  If you can forget that it is sung by 12 year old plastic girls, it is really fun to jam out to. And sans the elements previously mentioned, the video is great as well.  Cool camera angles, seamless transitions from dancing in ridiculous outfit one to dancing in ridiculous outfit two, over the top set design and enough lens flares to make JJ Abrams cry.  Which reminds me of another great video (Ignoring the odd bunny-in-a-giant-playing-card thing going on).

Here is a sampling of more good KPOP stuff.

So at this point you are probably thinking "Do men sing in Korea?" I mean they must, right, I got PSY's video up there after all.  Well, lets just say I'm not a huge fan of the Korean boy bands.  Pretty much everything I generalized about KPOP from Girl's Generation's Gee is true about the boy bands as well. Let me demonstrate.

Yeah, just as must make up and plastic surgery as the girls. Also, acting like eight year olds. And the dancing/music isn't  as good.  Not to say that there isn't some decent boy band music out there.....It's just that I have only found two examples.

And that is after checking the KPOP top 100 once a month since summer of '09.  Which brings me back to my original point of how I first heard Gangnam Style July 24 right after its Korean debut.  I think that its immense popularity in the U.S is the start of things to come.  Will.i.am-produced 2NE1 plans to make their U.S debut next year and they have a good chance of charting (their song "I am the Best" hit 99 on the U.S dance charts earlier this year, and that was in Korean).  Not that other Korean groups haven't tried this in the past. BoA released her first full length English album in 2009.  Unfortunately, she changed her musical style for the album to try to make it "more American."  All it ended up doing was making the album more terrible.  

I'll play out this blog with one of her more acceptable songs (not in English) followed by a cool instrumental that would probably fit fairly well into a Bond movie soundtrack.  I hope you all feel more prepared to live in a world that will eventually be controlled by KPOP producers, plastic surgeons, and some other third group.