6 months.So far we've kept our sweet baby James alive for 6 MONTHS.
In case you're following along, this is a GOOD THING.
I think James is doing well. I told him it was his first, and only, Real Half Birthday, and he smiled! But I think he was just pooping. Actually, in hindsight it was more of a red-faced grimace. So he wasn't really excited about his .5 birthday. I mean, it's not like it's a "milestone" birthday: he doesn't get his drivers license, he doesn't get baptized, he doesn't get senior citizen discount at IHOP. No, he just gets shots, tomorrow at the doctor's.
Surprised face!
So, we didn't have a party. But on the bright side, everyone else threw him one yesterday! It was like a huge neighborhood costume party. He dressed up as a tiger and answered the door with us to give away candy. ( Thank you Aunt Sharon for the excellent pictures :)
After the kids stopped showing up, Aaron entertained James with a little dubstep dancing:
And James ate some candy.....wrappers.
Then tonight we decided to take some 6 month family photos! They're not bad.
After Aaron went to work, and after we got back from grocery shopping, I attempted to feed James his "birthday dinner" of rice cereal. But James was more interested in having a GIGGLE PARTY. View for yourswelf:
(NOTE: I wasn't actually yelling at him; I was just quoting Napoleon Dynamite where he tells Tina to eat her food. That's all. James hasn't seen that yet though...so maybe he didn't get the reference.)
BEST. LAUGH. EVER.
Now he is sleeping peacefully, at last. Thanks for the last half-year, James. If the average life expectancy for a US citizen is 78 years, then I hope the next 155 half-years of your life are JUST AS AWESOME.
What kind of relationship do you think church and state should have? Romantic? Platonic? Long distance? Intertwined? Separate? Ooo, ooo, that one! They should be separate of course! Why? Because the Constitution says so! But does it? Does it actually say "Our nation is founded upon the separation of church and state." or "Church and state must be completely separate-like oil and water" or "If any portion of church were to touch state it would look a lot like the Hindenburg...Oh the Humanity!" or is the explanation more subtle? Where does this phrase even come from? What does it mean?
I see too many examples today of people pulling out the "separation of church and state" card in political conversations without understanding the history behind it. They have heard the phrase "separation of church and state" ten thousand times, but have no idea what it means. I hope to clear up misconceptions about this principal and hopefully get my rant on while I'm at it.
Let's answer on of our questions from above-Does it mention separation of church and state in the constitution? No, it actually does not. What the constitution does say concerning religion is contained in The First Amendment:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
The sections of The First Amendment regarding religion are the establishment clause (Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion) and the free exercise clause (or prohibiting the free exercise thereof).
The establishment clause first prohibits the establishment of a national religion by Congress and second prohibits the preference by the U.S. government of one religion over another (including no religion or atheism). This is why in 1962 in the case ofEngel v. Vitale, the supreme court ruled it unconstitutional to have mandatory prayer in school.
The free exercise clause is pretty self explanatory. You can practice any religion you feel fit without fear of persecution or regulation. The freedom of religion clause was defended in 1963 in the case of Sherbert v. Werner. Adele Sherbert was denied unemployment benefits by South Carolina because she refused to work on Saturdays, something forbidden by her Seventh-day Adventist faith. This denial was found to be unconstitutional.
The phrase "Separation of Church and State" refers to a letter Thomas Jefferson wrote about the First Amendment saying:
Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof", thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.
So now that we know what this phrase means, I would like to discuss what it does not mean. It does not mean, as all too many people believe today, that people with religious viewpoints, are not allowed to incorporate those viewpoints into their political decisions. In fact, saying that someone is not allowed to have religiously charged political beliefs is in contradiction with the constitution, which blatantly protects the free practice thereof. Many people believe that religion is nothing more than a fleeting fancy, to be believed and practiced only on Sunday and to be left at home when going to the polls. This is a gross misunderstanding. I personally base everything I do in my life on my religious beliefs. It shapes what I say, what I think and what I eat and drink. For me, this leads to very specific political opinions, two of which are being against same-sex marriage and abortion. I believe that theses two practices are sins. And today like in days past, I believe that as our society becomes more sinful, the more likely it will be destroyed by the hand of God. I don't know about you, but I would rather stay un-destroyed as long as possible.
While I have seen hundreds of comments in the social media sphere supporting the belief that religious people should be seen but not heard, newspaper articles supporting this same opinion abound.
The San Francisco Chronicle:
Our government's role is to guarantee the freedom and equality of every citizen under the law, however. A church's teachings regarding the definition and "sanctity" of marriage have no place in federal law. Let's not forget what the First Amendment says: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." Legislation (such as the Defense of Marriage Act and the "no gay marriage" statute Romney promises/threatens) imposes a religious definition of marriage on the entire country.
Brendon Ayanbadejo of the Baltimore Ravens:“church and state are supposed to be completely separated when it comes to the rule of law in the United States. So the religious argument that God meant for only man and woman to be together has no bearing here! America is not Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon, Catholic, or any other religion that is out there. And the pantheon of gods can attest that there are hundreds of them. We are a secular capitalistic democracy. That’s it.”
Jonathan L. Eisenberg, President of the "American Union in Defense of Separation of Church and State" referring to a a ballot measure that would ban same-sex marriage in Minnesota:
“The amendment is, at its core, an attempt to impose one specific religious view on all citizens,” Eisenbergwrote for MinnPost.“That is not the proper role of government under our First Amendment guarantees of free exercise and non-establishment of religion.
As you see, it is a pretty mainstream belief that, for some reason, religious people should not be allowed to have a say in the laws the government makes about a religious institution. It is way out of line to say that same-sex marriage is a purely political issue. Marriage was religious thousands of years before it was ever political. The fact that it has now entered into the political realm is just a reflection of how secular today's society is getting.
A constitutional ban of gay marriage would not be in violation of separation of Church and State at all. The bill, much like Proposition 8, would have been created by the people (not the government) and been voted into the constitution by the people (not the government). In doing so the government will have kept up their end of the bargain by not interfering with its citizens religious beliefs, and in the process it will not have broken the establishment clause which respects an establishment of religion, but it will have respected the citizens of the United States, many of which just so happen to belong to those establishments of religion, and believe it or not, actually follow the teachings of those religions as if they were true, and may just bring those learned principles into the voting booth (longest run on sentence ever).
Almost as humdrum as the typical "picture only post" is the "music only post." While music usually lends itself to more commentary (if a picture is worth 1,000 words, audio is worth 10,000, and video 100,000. Which interestingly enough matches up pretty well to kilobytes of size) it also takes more effort (2 seconds for a picture vs 3 minutes for a song) and is often scrolled over. That being said, I like finding new music, and I just learned how to copy embed HTML5 code, so here goes nothing.
Since the release of "I'm not a Robot" two years ago, Marina and the Diamonds (which I believe is a misleading name because it implies there is a band is addition to Maria...I mean Marina. Much like Selena Gomez and the Scene) has actually gotten more bitter and sarcastic about woman's roles in modern society. I tried listening to the entirety of her new album "Electra Heart" and four songs in was slightly overloaded with feminism and bitterness. But it is palatable in small doses, especially when it is sung to a rad electro house track.
Speaking of electronic music, (which I love, and find quite a lot of variety in nowadays) I came across this gem by french group C2C. They call their style "Turntablism." I included the video below because I really like how it matches visually with the music. Yes, the entire video is of some girl in her underwear floating around. But let me argue that first, none of it is sexual in any way and second, this could pass as a really cool Hanes commercial.
This next video of theirs, while not as nearly cool of a song, is well made and deserves viewers
While I am generally kind of bored of wobble bass heavy music such as electro house and dubstep, this song by Zomboy seems to fit the Halloween season quite well. It is also quite musically intricate and progressive.
Also, I wanted to get something off my chest. This song is in no way, shape, or form, a dubstep song. I know it has wobble bass and a drop, but neither of these is actually required in a dubstep song. Hint: It has to do with the beat of the song. This next song for example, is a dubstep song.
Ok, off the high horse and back to good old alternative rock. By now, The Joy Formidable is old news and everyone has heard the song Whirring 50 times. But most likely you have heard the woosey radio version that fades out after 2:40. The album version is way more legit, rocking out from 2:40 to 6:47 and reminding all that rock is alive and well. It makes you want to listen to the next track on the album, right! Which you should, the whole album is excellent, which is why they have now replaced Metric as my favorite alt rock band with a female lead (which I merely hope is female. I just realized the singer for Silversun Pickups is a dude. I know, right! I blame Tracey Chapman)
I'll end with a mandatory KPOP shoutout. Nothing special, but a great work out song.
Unfortunately tonight, I have no opinions about anything. But, I would like to inform you that the most expensive house in the United States is located in Palm Beach, Florida, and cost $74,000,000.
The monthly mortgage is twice the price of my house. Not too far behind is a house named Castello della Costa d'Oro (yeah, that means castle) priced at $58,000,000. It comes with a helipad and an orchard.
What is appropriate to discuss at the dinner table? The answer to this question may vary depending on the company you're keeping or if you are intoxicated, but most people will still answer this question by saying "Don't discuss religion or politics." Why is this? What is so bad about religion or politics? It seems everyone has an opinion on them. It seems like an easy conversation to start, right? Yes, but the conversation can quickly degrade to an argument that goes nowhere. You might say to yourself "But I am ok with disagreements. I can keep the discussion civilized" No, you cannot. A conversation is a two way street, and even if you are just stating opinions with no intent to harm, the other individual could feel attacked and switch to argument mode. Most people don't mind if you challenge a philosophy they espouse, but if you challenge their politics and they use their political affiliations as a means to define themselves, then you're posing not an intellectual argument, but a threat to their very sense of being. In the same way I would tell others "I am Aaron", I would also say "I am a Republican." Aaron becomes part of me when I say that. I can say I like brownies without the same connection. If I talk about brownies at dinner and someone tell me brownies are stupid, It doesn't make me feel bad, I just think the person talking is missing out. But if someone tells me the name Aaron is stupid, that is the same as calling me stupid, and the individual talking will probably have a glass of water dumped on their head before the night is through. Pretty much the only safe conversation to have on these topics starts and ends with a statement of affiliation. No one can argue with that. With the presidential race in the spotlight, it seems like the topic of politics is coming up more and more in our lives. One of the places I see it discussed the most is Facebook. People post links to articles, videos, react to things candidates say etc. Most of these posts seem harmless until you expand the comments section and witness a few Democrats and Republicans going at it. Occasionally the steadfast Libertarian will join the mix and say "You're both dumb-Go Ron Paul" Reading these fire fights makes me sick inside. I am beginning to think that Facebook needs to be more like the dinner table, and there needs to be an unspoken rule of no politics or religion. Well, I don't completely agree with never posting anything with political or religious implications, but I think there needs to be more acute awareness of those on your massive friends list that may disagree with what you say. I think, for example, posting a link to an LDS speakers talk on helping others with the comments "Helping people is so much fun" is acceptable. But if the same video was posted with the comments "Helping people is so much fun, too bad Muslims don't help people" I would deem it unacceptable. A similar example is posting a link to a Romney campaign video and commenting " I like how he explains things" as opposed to "Everyone who votes for Obama is dumb." I have actually seen the latter. The comments broke into an argument between two of my friends that made me nauseous. I think as long as we are careful to simply state our beliefs while not trampling on those of others, we can help prevent Facebook mudslinging. I say help prevent because there is never a guarantee. Someone passionate enough could turn any innocent minded post into a garbage fest. But you should not give anyone the green light to by being inconsiderate. I wish there was the option to post something and then block comments. That way no matter how many angry bored people there are in your friends list, they still wouldn't be able to hijack your post and turn it into an O'Rilley Obermann duel. Maybe my view is too idealistic. Maybe some people like the conflict. But I would like to imagine that most people are decent human beings who want to be nice to others regardless of their opinions. I would hope that the goal of posting something political or religious is not to instigate a cock fight, but rather to open peoples minds. No one's mind will be opened let alone changed by name calling and mud slinging. But if you give someone the opportunity to read or view something that would give them information they didn't previously have access to, that can open their mind and maybe, just maybe, they will choose on their own to agree with you. If we really believe in our causes, isn't that what we truly want?
I admit it. When I am reading someone's blog and come to a post which is entirely pictures, I usually skip over it. I would much rather hear about someone's feelings and opinions. But there is something to be said about pictures and experiences-No one can disagree with them. Today Beckie, James, and I went on a super fun hike, so DEAL WITH IT!
We have recently been looking in the direction of Alpine as we travel and envying their proximity to the only good thing about the Fall - rainbow colored scrub oak. This morning we decided to drive into Alpine and get as close as we could to the mountains, and hopefully by doing so encounter a hiking trail. We unsuccessfully drove up a road named "Canyon Road" thinking that for some reason that might take us to the mouth of the canyon. Not the case. It dead ends at some enormous rich persons house. They should call it "Giant House Road." So the we tried Grove Street, which took us to a trail head, jackpot. Who needs to plan in advanced? So we packed up the baby and started climbing. The following good times ensued.
Pretty tree. Yes, can you say pretty tree? Pretty tree, yeah pretty tree...
James still isn't quite big enough for the hiking backpack, so we pack him in there with many much blankets.
Yeah, Beckie made me pose.
Fall baby :)
James made us take another without the leaf.
Surrounded by beauty in a meadow
Are you sick of this picture yet? Probably not because there is more James in it!
Beckie in the land on enormous boulders
I want to be this guy SO BAD!
Back to civilization
Yeah, so this is only our third hike this year, and summer is already over. Lame. I blame JT, but then again, it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without him pulling Beckie's hair the whole time. She said it made her feel like Black Beauty (hope all you book reading folk get this).
Now that PSY's Gangnam Style has hit number one on iTunes and his video below has been viewed 281 million times, I would like to announce, like any self respecting Cake fan would (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYSesXsN-ZM 0:47), that I heard it first.
I realize that in claiming this, I may have just gained a permanent label as a hipster. Let me dispel your judgments by reminding everyone that I don't like Apple, Iron and Wine, or beanies. Glad I cleared that up.
The main point of me telling you this is not to convince you that I am cooler than you (if you come to that conclusion on your own though, I approve), but rather to explain my magical journey into the world of KPOP.
This journey began in the summer of '09. Having been passed over for all the internships I applied to the spring prior, I was not looking at a very eventful summer. My brother Paul heard of my conundrum and suggested that I spend the summer teaching English in Taiwan and studying Mandarin, so I did. While there, I made some friends in a who were in a similar situation to my own (young, single, male). There are only a couple of reasons a guy like me is in Taiwan.
1. Didn't get an internship and wants to learn Chinese
2. A particular attraction to Asian females.
I would say the vast majority are there for the second reason. One of these friends I made who was openly of the second group I mentioned, introduced me to KPOP with The Wonder Girls' video Tell Me. His favorite is the rapper girl.
Not terribly impressed (and slightly disturbed by the wonder woman outfit), I continued to live my normal life and returned from Taiwan. At the time, my nephew Thomas (2 years old) was going through a robot phase. My mother found him this dancing robot video , which he latched onto and watched on repeat for hours.
There they were again, The Wonder Girls, with robots dancing to their song. I concluded that any group with the endorsement of robots must be "a thing." I watched the music video and really liked it. Just singing and dancing. I also enjoyed the song.
It was catchy, upbeat, and I couldn't understand the lyrics. If I don't understand the lyrics, I don't know if they are simplistic or poorly written, which is all to often the case with American pop songs. I liked that these girls were not nasty and gross like The Pussycat Dolls or The Spice Girls. They were reminiscent of girl groups from the 60's, a time when you were allowed to wear clothing when you sang.
So I searched Youtube for KPOP, to hopefully find more music like what I had heard. The top search result was Gee by Girls Generation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ). I find this very appropriate because by watching this video, you will find out everything you need to know about KPOP.
For first time KPOP viewers, this video is probably a lot to take in. The first question you probably have is "Were those dancing robots as well?" The answer is yes and no. They are technically humans like you or me. The reason even the smallest bit of feminism inside of you is screaming "No! Something was wrong with that!" is because a substantial percentage of all of these girls is plastic (plastic surgeonized). I like to think the music video itself is aware of this though, starting them all as mannequins who come to life. Plastic surgery is very common in Korea. One out of five woman have undergone plastic surgery and 1/3 of woman and men say that they would like to have plastic surgery. So the first thing that we learned from this video is that Korean pop stars are fake.
The second theme we can draw from this video is the infantilization of woman. They are so beside themselves over this store attendant guy, frowning and pouting like babies because they will never get to be with him, what with the whole "being mannequins" and everything.
The third is dance. All KPOP songs (ballads excluded) require a dance. This is usually such a big part of the video, that there is a separate music video dedicated entirely to the dance. Gee has two.
This video solidified my new entry into KPOP fandom. No, not because I'm a chauvinist, but because I really like the production quality. Obviously, a whole lot of effort went into this video. It is visually stunning-the colors, the set, the effects, the dance. And the song is great. Like many modern KPOP songs (including the one below) it is driven by a bass heavy electronic rhythm.
Once again, I don't approve of the two inch shorts or pillow fights, but this is just a great song. If you can forget that it is sung by 12 year old plastic girls, it is really fun to jam out to. And sans the elements previously mentioned, the video is great as well. Cool camera angles, seamless transitions from dancing in ridiculous outfit one to dancing in ridiculous outfit two, over the top set design and enough lens flares to make JJ Abrams cry. Which reminds me of another great video (Ignoring the odd bunny-in-a-giant-playing-card thing going on).
Here is a sampling of more good KPOP stuff.
So at this point you are probably thinking "Do men sing in Korea?" I mean they must, right, I got PSY's video up there after all. Well, lets just say I'm not a huge fan of the Korean boy bands. Pretty much everything I generalized about KPOP from Girl's Generation's Gee is true about the boy bands as well. Let me demonstrate.
Yeah, just as must make up and plastic surgery as the girls. Also, acting like eight year olds. And the dancing/music isn't as good. Not to say that there isn't some decent boy band music out there.....It's just that I have only found two examples.
And that is after checking the KPOP top 100 once a month since summer of '09. Which brings me back to my original point of how I first heard Gangnam Style July 24 right after its Korean debut. I think that its immense popularity in the U.S is the start of things to come. Will.i.am-produced 2NE1 plans to make their U.S debut next year and they have a good chance of charting (their song "I am the Best" hit 99 on the U.S dance charts earlier this year, and that was in Korean). Not that other Korean groups haven't tried this in the past. BoA released her first full length English album in 2009. Unfortunately, she changed her musical style for the album to try to make it "more American." All it ended up doing was making the album more terrible.
I'll play out this blog with one of her more acceptable songs (not in English) followed by a cool instrumental that would probably fit fairly well into a Bond movie soundtrack. I hope you all feel more prepared to live in a world that will eventually be controlled by KPOP producers, plastic surgeons, and some other third group.
I found myself browsing around other peoples’ blogs today and suddenly sat back and said out loud, “I have something to say about that.”
Recently I was talking to a dear friend (and I mean that in a non-grandmother-type way) who was coming to the realization that she is a Mormon mom. “Hey, me too!” I responded. Then the following non-verbal sentiments were shared: First, o/ \o. Then, o_O. Finally, :-?. Let me expound for the emoticon-impaired!
o/ \o
#1. A high five!
Hey, I have kids AND I’m LDS, just like you! We totes have that in common, oh-em-gosh! But really, it’s awesome to bond over shared experiences. I remember getting to the MTC and going through the cafeteria line, sitting down with my grapefruit half and glass of orange juice and thinking, “OH. So THIS is what everyone was talking about. Now I know! Now I can talk to people about it!!” (P.S. I felt that way after my wedding night, too, but I haven’t found as many people who are right away willing to/comfortable with talking to me about THAT.) Or when someone introduces herself to me as a high school teacher, and (even though I am not currently teaching) I suddenly feel like I know a whole lot more about them. So when you meet someone that has gone through the same thing as you, you feel an instant kinship: Sup. Fist pound. Dude, you KNOW. If I say something you will underSTAND. So especially for first time moms…I hear ya. And we looked at each other knowingly, and nodded.
o_O
#2. Wait…what?
And then we eyed each other. So, we’re both Mormon Moms, but, so what? I mean, what IS a Mormon Mom, really, besides the obvious religious and familial status? We found ourselves staring, inspecting. There’s a stereotype in there somewhere. Help me define it:
Let’s say you stumble upon a blog called “Mormon Mom.” What do you already know about this person? First is easy: you know she has a blog. And she probably pins, a lot, so she’s crafty. She most likely stays at home, and her home, by the way, or by consequence, is darling. There’s probably a bronze star hanging out in front, and she’s painted the door a fun accent color. Inside you’ll find inspirational, witty, sometimes cutely sarcastic words screenprinted onto wood blocks purchased from Hobby Lobby or Seagull Book hanging on her clean walls. Or wait: maybe she cooks – her crockpot bubbling with taco lasagna, or her oven steaming with fresh bread made with wheat she ground herself, or her freezer brim with premade and ready-to-eat casseroles, or her pantry stocked with food storage for 18 months.
No, this is not what you think. I am not feeling inadequate: not “down on myself for not being as good as this mysterious perfect mom.” She doesn’t exist – I completely know that, and that’s not what this post is about. Note the use of the “or.” Mormon Moms might sew all their kids’ clothes, OR extremely coupon, OR digitally scrapbook each baby’s milestones. I’m not delusional to think that one person does all of this. (Or anyway, I haven’t met her.) But, for the purposes of stereotypical description, let us agree that ALL Mormon Moms do at least ONE of these. You know who you are. ;)
So when my friend and I realized we were both Mormon Moms, these are the kinds of things that were being pictured.
:-?
#3. Hmmm….
And then, the introspection: IS THIS REALLY WHO I NOW AM? IS THIS WHO I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE??
Let me try to break that down a bit. No one is thinking they don’t love their kids. No one wishes they’d never met their husbands.
If you don't want to click and read the whole thing, fine, lazy, I'll give you the parts I most appreciated. She says it is a myth that when you become a mom, you will lose yourself to your children. Instead, "You will lose yourself to love":
Not having a baby for fear of losing yourself would be like saying, “Don’t ever make any friends, and certainly never, ever fall in love, because both of these things will take time and will change your life.” I did not resist falling in love, but I did mentally resist parenthood. I was convinced that having this baby so early on was going to ruin my carefully plotted life. He did not ruin my life—in fact, in many ways he saved it.
What I mean is this: We are going to lose our lives to something. I had lost mine to school goals, career dreams, plans, and other people’s demands and expectations for what my life should be. I had listened to the world and its requirements for me as a modern woman. [My baby] brought me back to myself and to God. He brought me back to the saving fundamentals of faith, hope, and charity. First Corinthians 13:13 does not say, “And now abideth enough money to travel, a great body, and a successful career, these three; but the greatest of these is a successful career.” It doesn’t even say this for men, because even though the proclamation on the family designates fathers as the main providers, their primary and most important job is also in the home and with the family....
And then she answered another question I hadn't put into words: WHY did I spend so many years of my life in school, taking classes, teaching classes, just to end it all with the birth of a child?
A baby is like the ultimate class and the ultimate hobby. A class will not last so long, will not be so funny, will not be so beautiful, so challenging, so living. It will not be something you have created together. It will not look like you. It will not love you.
So let it be written, so let it be done. This is who I am, and I cannot, would not change that. My role, my life is not a cliche. It is a truth. It is a huuuuge blessing. It IS life. It is awesome!
End result: :-)
Ok, now it's your turn...did I define the stereotype correctly? What did I miss? Where did I go wrong? What parts are legit enough that I should actually be working on?? WHY IS LDS.ORG SO GREAT???
Its's 2AM on a Wednesday morning again, you know what that means kids? AARON'S BLOG TIME!!! I really don't know what I am going to write about yet ( 90% of people who are not bored enough, please stop reading.....now) but I think this is probably an improvement on watching a B movie on Netflix or downloading kpop music videos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3tuZF1qizQ&feature=plcp, discussion for another day). Today's discussion will be on Cafe Rio, which may be connected to my eating tortilla chips right now. I just can't bring myself to pay $1 for a scoop of sour cream. Anybody else acknowledge this highway robbery? Guacamole, I get, avocados are wicked expensive, $1 each on average, and so to make any kind of decent profit margin on the sale of guac, they need to sell each scoop for $.75 (so the profit margin is a little more then decent). But sour cream?! That stuff is cheap! You can buy 16 oz for $1 at the grocery store. So it makes sense that a restaurant could buy it for even less in bulk wholesale. So let's just say that the purchaser at Cafe Rio is terrible, and their sour cream is $1 for 16 oz. How many scoops is that? I figure one scoop is 3 tablespoons. That means 16 oz of sour cream translates into 10.5 scoops. That is a profit margin of 950% (This is the part where you are all appalled). So, your saying, what's the big deal? Just don't get sour cream if it bugs you that much. You are right, I could pass on the sour cream-if I liked eating crap. Mexican food requires sour cream in my book. I equate charging extra for sour cream at a Mexican restaurant with a salad buffet charging extra for lettuce. The dish would be hopelessly lost without it. But there is a work around to giving in to the ridiculousness of the extra charge. The answer-tostada. Yes, my friends, there is more then just burritos and salads at this restaurant, there is a delicious taco-salad hybrid called a tostada. It includes sour cream and creamy sauce and is nearly the same as a cafe rio salad (just slightly smaller). Also, it costs $2 less. Also, a smaller salad solves the problem of your wife always wanting to save half of her full sized salad for later (admit it, lettuce wilts, and the next day the salad will taste gross). I hope this segment has been educational for all of you. No need to punch the CEO of Cafe Rio in the face, just buy a tostada.
For any of you sorry suckers who got notified of a new post on "Beckie's Blog" and expected to read about a married mormon girl's feelings about no longer working and being a stay at home mom-SORRY! NO DICE! All you get is Beckie's battle hardened husband! Get ready for unapologetic hard hitting rhetoric. Vicious rhetoric that very well might tear you to pieces......well, crap, there goes my tough guy facade with the Tad Hamilton quote. OK, I lied, I am not taking over the blog (even though i could because I know all of Beckie's passwords) I have just been added as an attempt to make the blog more interesting. Or possibly so I have other people to speak to from my soap box besides just my wife (who rarely is interested anyway). So no, I am not going to hit Beckie's blog off into left field. In fact, I am pretty much just like her, except I have a scruffy beard and cross the double white line to enter the carpool lane. That is pretty much as edgy as I get. I do not have anything earth shattering to say, but I do have an opinion on pretty much everything, so a blog is a good place for to be, especially now that I have switched back to night shift. (Also, If you haven't given up on this post yet, I would like to point out that I, unlike my wife, did very poorly in English in high school, and do not have proper writing habits, and therefore you will have to suffer through run on sentences and badly split paragraphs. I just don't know where to start a new one.....this looks like a good place)
So yeah, night shift. I am a process engineer at a semiconductor factory. What do I do there? I would tell you but I would have to kill myself. The semiconductor industry is very niche. When I explain what I do to people not even other engineers understand me let alone common peasants. You may be thinking, It is your fault that you cannot simplify the explanation (I'm sure there are a thousand quotes about how truly smart people can make things understandable to the masses, whatev). But the truth is, when I do, and say something like I use super powerful cameras to take microscopic pictures of circuitry on a silicon wafer, I die a little inside, and that can't be healthy. Suffice it to say I am an engineer. And I work at a factory that uses very expensive machines (ranging from $100,000 on the low end to $80,000,000). They are very expensive because they provide a lot of earning potential to the companies that possess them. Every hour they run represents $200,000 in revenue. It also represents a time period in which these machines must be paid for and therefore, utilized. The question I am trying to answer preemptively is why do I have to work night shift. Or rather, why does anyone at my company work night shift. The answer to the question is in the price of these machines. Imagine owning an $80,000,000 home....OH...BABY...... Now stop being vain and come back to reality. So what would a 30 year mortgage be like on that home as compared to your $150,000 pittance of a house. You are correct, a whole lot more. In fact, it would be 300,000 a month. Now lets say that your lending period was shortened to 5 years. Yeah, your mortgage would be bad, but this one would be worse-$1,500,000 a month. Considering how quickly technology changes and these machines become obsolete, I'm certain the lending period has got to be 5 years or less. So the 1.5 mill a month per machine simplifies into around $2000/hour. Now consider that my company has about 20 of these and forget about the 200 or so other "cheap" machines we have and you understand why the $200,000 per hour is wicked important. All this to explain why I am writing a blog at 2:30AM.
My Mondays are on Wednesdays. I start the week by working Wednesday night. Meaning, that if I didn't sleep during the day on Wednesday, I would be awake for 24 hours by the time my shift ended on Thursday morning. So, I stay awake all night on Tuesday to facilitate my sleeping during the day on Wednesday. I work 12 hour shifts from 6:30PM to 6:30AM alternating 4 and 3 days every other week. Every four months I rotate days/nights so I would be working AM to PM instead. If you don't understand how that works, it is ok, neither does anyone else unless you are married to someone who does it. This may sound like a terrible schedule, but let me assure you, it is not. I work only 3 or 4 days out of the week, leaving me with 3 and 4 day weekends every week. I know a lot of people who would give their right foot for that kind of free time. Also, I get paid salary, but I only work an average of 42 hrs/week. My shift ends, and I am outta there. None of this 60-80 hrs/week stuff you get with other jobs. I think that requires a boo-yah!
The other half of the equation is being nocturnal. People tell me that it must be awful to console me, and don't get me wrong, at first I thought the same thing. But night shift where I work is actually very low stress and relaxing compared to day shift. On day shift, when all non shifted employees are there as well, you get a lot of requests/demands that keep you constantly rushing around. On nights, there is no one hovering over your shoulder telling you what they think is most important and you are free to use your own brain to prioritize. Also, as you could imagine, I get a night shift differential, which is pretty hefty. Let's just say it covers tithing, fast offerings and random cravings of a nursing/starving wife. This is a pretty sweet deal in my mind-relax and make more money. But unfortunately my wife doesn't always agree.
Beckie doesn't by any means hate my job, and is always supportive of my weird schedule, but definitely mourns when I switch back to nights. She likewise does a little dance when I switch back to days. I am always a little confused at why she is celebrating us being poor again. Ok, so I guess I do understand the benefits of being a normal human being. No one else is awake at night. No businesses or restaurants open. (If you haven't notices yet, I deal in absolutes. I know that there are 24/7 Burger Kings and Walmarts, but I just don't like the word "most" and tend to leave it out quite often) You can't set up a get together or handle an errand on your lunch break. But I have decided that these things are of little importance to me in relation to $$$. I guess the biggest drag is missing out on snuggle time with Beckie. When I come home, she wakes up and I am working when she goes to sleep. How much would you pay to cuddle with your spouse for 14 more days a month? $100? That would be $7 a snuggle. $200? $400 or $28 a snuggle. Sometimes I feel like $28 is a bargain snuggle for the joy I get out of it. Makes me think that I should start a snuggle business....that could get sketchy real fast. Either way, I don't really have much of an alternative to a snuggle-less life as of now, so I guess that the calculations have been in vain (I'm an engineer, I can't help but calculate something!)
So I'm not really sure if this post had a main point, but I'm sure I have written enough to alienate 95% of readers thus far and should end quickly before the other 5% go back to watching Downton Abbey. But before I do...........Cute baby!!!!!
On May 1, I had a baby. Let's look at some pictures of him!
He started out so little.
One day, he was blessed. The tiny tuxedo Thomas wore was a tiny bit too big.
Oh yeah, and he has a cousin:
He has his bad days...
But he sleeps peacefully, too...
And yes, he is getting bigger!
Posing with the Parents:
One of his favorite nap sites? The stairs.
Also, he his hilarious looking. I wanted to end with these two. Sooo many people told us to record his cry so we'd remember it when it changed. It's already different, and this was just a couple of weeks ago! Enjoy.
